Posts tagged ‘presents’

Crappy Birthday in June

Know a smoker? Hate the living crap out of that fucker? Want to gift him/her with the worst curse from Pandora’s box – false hope?


Lucky you! 

This cigarette case, with the hopeful message of survival, whilst containing suicide in small doses, is the perfect gift for this occasion. 
Crappy birthday,

A.

Crappy Birthday in March

Holy freak, I almost forgot about you folks needing this month’s birthday presents.

Here it comes, the costume to end all costumes, the cosplay to end all cosplay.

For 28 Euro you can look like a carcinogenic piece of pork. (With a smile that fills every creep with envy)
Ideal gift for your Jewish or Muslim friends, or their elderly relatives. Or yours if you’re from a faith forbidding pork.
A hearty laugh will be had in any case.

Gift this, our present yourself in this at any gift giving occasion this month, if you love to frak with people’s minds.
Drive them further towards, or further over, the edge. Redefine reality, and let them know, that you’re alive, and that they are too.
Whether they like it, our not.

Crappy Birthday,
A.

Christmas Calendar 2016

Hope you had a great time.

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31

31. Dec 2016

25 bucks and this wonderful masterpiece of fucking dragons fucking can be yours.

The year began with semi nude girls and carp (there’s a 2017 Carponizer, people), and ends with fucking dragons. 

Don’t ever say I wouldn’t be taking care of all your niche needs. 😉

Crappy new year!

24. Dec 2016

Discharge
What you can do with bodily fluids as a couple we learned from my mother-in-law’s best friend.

If you can’t read/understand German, you did not miss jackshit.
Perhaps if that obnoxious couple (the one you gave the underpants to) can, you can further the rift between them and you.
If they thank you … run.

23. Dec 2016 (NSFW)

27.90 € and this full functional Dildo made from dark chocolate can be yours.

The lonely housewife (-man), or crazy cat lady (or man), in your gift receiving circle of persons will be delighted. Even if they’re Hipster scum, for this piece is vegan!
It surely will satisfy all desires, known and unknown.

Get it now, and you can loudly, proudly and also lovingly say “Fuck yourself!”.

22. Dec 2016


Blinking Rudolph Earrings, for the Christmas-Nazi, or those you want to be marked as such.
You know, the cousin who scolds you for not having decorated the house ‘on time’, the aunt whose living room is looking like Santa’s torture chamber by mid November, the friend who knows every Christmas market intimately, without getting drunk each time.

Those people, who at the party are the Christmasiest person in history.

Mark them. This is the mark of the beast…