Posts tagged ‘rules’

Life ain’t that hard: Vacationing

It really is simple:
1. Pack your shit (underwear, pants, shirt, socks, hygiene products)
2. Board a Car/Bus/Train/Boat/Plane and go to your destination.
3. Relax. Maybe have some fun.

Of course you need to pack accordingly, if you’re going someplace shittycold like “I’m going skiing in the swiss alps!” you need warm stuff. If you’re going someplace nice like the Caribbean, pack your beach attire.

Of course, basic decency rules have to be observed. For example, a beach holiday with binge drinking and lots of (teenage) sex, is, once you have crossed the 25 year old threshold, creepy, desperate, pitiful.
If you ask me, and that’s why you’re here, it is always pitiful and desperate, once older than 25 the creepy adjective just pops up out of nowhere along with one or two or three or four VDs.

A city trip across Europe is a neat thing, but I have to caution you, this is only for the pseudo [insert adjective here]. Yes. Only for pseudos. Of any kind.
If you are truly interested in culture, you spend WEEKS at one location at a time, and next year you come back to the next stop on your planned route. Going through five cities in two weeks, is a pseudo cultural excuse to get drunk and sleep around. Again, past a certain maturity age (~25), creepy, desperate, pitiful and pseudo.

If your destination includes anything that could even remotely be called an animator – kill yourself.
Do it in the travel agency’s office, splatter blood all over the place, or do it ISIS style.
Who ever came up with the idea for an animator (not the kind making animated films, butnthe kind that is supposed to animate YOU) should be dragged a hundred meters through broken glass on incandescent coal at five cm/hour.
Finally you have time away from schedules, and calls, and colleagues dropping in on you, a boss demanding shit, customers yanking your chain – just to have to some underpaid, overenthusiastic asshat tell you what to do to have some fun?
Sure, it is not (always) mandatory – neither is the chat with Susan from accounting – but it is annoying, and you are paying to have this shitstain there…
So…Kill yourself!

If you are going to a spa, bring one thing above all – a good book. Not war and peace, where after five chapters you feel as if you just came out of a coma, because you have no idea what happened in those fove chapters. A good book. Something you can read and dive into. Sure, the massages and whirlpool and sauna and pool are places you won’t need it per se, but there are long stretches where you’ll need it. Unless you want to catch up on sleep.

At the end, if you are an allergic – don’t go on vacations on farms. Unless you have plenty of antihistamines in your pockets.
Your body weight in antihistamines to be precise.
Which is what I will be doing.
I am on vacation next week, family vacation on a farm…any Darth Vader impersonations of mine might end up here 😉

Have fun, A.

Life ain’t that hard: Raising kids!

Don’t get me wrojg, it’s a hell of a job, it’s taxing and it IS hard.

But people make some kind of dramatical fuzz about this, as if no one before them had ever raised a child.

Basically it all boils down to a few key issues:
-Feed your kid!
Obvious, isn’t it? At first you give the baby milk, later (~6months) you introduce food, wane milk, only food. Ain’t that hard, eh? Just keep it balanced between healthy and sinfully tasty. And remember, humans are omnivores, not herbivores. Raising a kid on a vegan diet is harmful!

-Keep your kid clean.
Doesn’t sound too hard. You can learn the basics from every other movie out there that has a Baby in it. From there on out, it is a path of “Obvious-shite”. Changing diapers (you’ll get the hang of when it’s full), washing/bathing/showering, dressing, in between clean up jobs (sticky fingers, are just the beginning of a wonderful dirt journey!), keeping the laundry clean. Not, that, hard. Really.

-Parenting.
This is a vague term. What I want to say with this is, that you need to do some hard labour: Rules, Rewards and Punishments.
Yes. RRnP.

This is the sole reason why I write this.
There is a new parenting … thing, in the german language bubble, that I would translate as “unraising”.

These people stipulate that “raising” in and of itself is an act of aggression, a form of violence, in which one party (parents) put’s itself above the other party (kid/s), and then forcefully raises them. That the notion of parents having to protect, and look out for, their kids, is equal to “the white mans burden” (for those of you who have failed history class: having to protect the primitive/savage people in the colonies from themselves), and that “raising” in any way, shape or form is undemocratic, and is against equality…
Therefore they are against any rules, any intervention from the parents or someone else, in the development of their kids.

Well. Let me start with the lack of rules.
Listen, they took plant seeds to space, to see how they fare in zero G (=lack of any rules). It didn’t fare well. Plants, as it sems, need, other than light to guide them, gravity. They need the rules of UP and DOWN, to know where to grow to. Children need, other than food, also rules, to know what to grow into. A savage that doesn’t know right from wrong, just doesn’t fly well.

Raising is not a form of violence, claiming this is like saying gravity is a form of violence. Every animal is being raised. Every animal has social rules, and unless you’re a creature that is abandoned at birth (or as an egg), you are being raised! Always!

Parenting, a family, is NO democracy. There is NO equality.
Period!
My child is not equal to me in decisions that affect the entire family, or him. I cannot (and would not), for example, let him eat only candy.
If I had a daughter I would not allow her to leave the house in a skimpy outfit at twelve years of age.
I am the parent, I have knowledge, and experience.
Therefore, I am the one making rules. End of story. If you neglect your duties as a parent, BTW, the government has the right AND THE DUTY to take the child/-ren away from you. So allowing your twelve year old daughter out at 2am in a skimpy outfit might get your daughter taken away from you – if you’re lucky…

Again. Life ain’t that hard, raise your kids. Parenting is hard work, but is not something that will ruin you or your spirit. Countless generations before you did it, and will in the future.

Sure, it is important to provide room for your kid to grow into, but it also important to coarse it away from turning into a boar. There just is no future for a person that is unwilling to work, gets up at 1pm, and perhaps shits himself because going to the loo is too much of an effort. That’s what raising provides, a future, a guideline, and rules. As said above, RRnP.

I leave you with the fail of “unraising” parenting, and a desperate cry for attention and rules, I hope it’s a hoax, but at this point…

“My son (10) stopped going to school, five weeks ago. I can’t talk him into going again. Since he stopped, he started wetting and pooing himself. He doesn’t wanna talk or leave his room. Talking with him requires you to go into his room and sit beside him when he’s at the computer or in bed, but the stench is unbearable. I don’t know what to say to him anymore.”

Again, raise your fucking kids! It’s not that hard.
A.

It’s topical…

…my kid has a fever, and this is a really unnerving time for me.
It also brings me to those Schmucks who tried sailing the world…

Here is a rule to write down into your “sailing around the world” book: If you take your toddler on a sailing trip around the world, and the navy/coast guard has to rescue you, they get to take the kids away from you!

A child at the age of one year needs two things to thrive: a home (that is a PLACE not a cabin in a boat) and a steady social group (that is larger than parents and sibling).
That aside, kids do get sick very quickly, and quite often – stay in a one hour driving range of a doctor/pediatrician. Period!

So, unless you’re fleeing a war zone, an undesirable place or the mafia (you can try), or have made it out in the last second before a horrible disaster struck your home, or you are caught in the late 1800s – leave the kids at home ashore.

Just because you are a self absorbed, irresponsible, twit, too self important to reflect beyond personal ramifications, too shortsighted to think about your children and their needs – you’re taking them with you.
It’s people like that who make me wish there’d be a drivers license for parents, you need to pass with at least a C grade or better to get permission to breed.

Next time some of y’all want to take a sailing trip around the world, do it BEFORE you have any kids! If you die due to lack of intelligence, passive eugenics, or rather the evolutionary process, was in action, and the idiot genes do not get passed on. Let me put in another rule here for the sailors out there: leave the radio at shore too, you want to do it like they did it in the late 19th century? Leave the radio ashore!

I do hope the little kid gets/got better, as my own is improving his condition as I wrote these lines, but I also hope that the custody was/will be taken from the parents.

Take care,
A.