Posts tagged ‘safety’

Roadrage 09. Sept.

They made this.
This exists. Outside. On the road, not a training course for kids.

On a bicycle lane, exclusively for cyclists.

Let me rephrase that: They made real markings for cyclists!
The one group of traffic participants who frequently ignore traffic lights, traffic signs, and, most importantly, any and all markings! Who think traffic laws are loose guidelines or recommendations and safety gear is for loosers who actually value life and health.

They have shat out taxpayer money, to paint teeny-tiny cyclist markings on a bicycle lane, to make the one group of traffic participants that could only be more dangerous if they rode bikes made out of solid plutonium, feel safer.

Why?
Why on earth would you do useless crap like that?
What will be next? Signs for blind people not written in Braille? “If you’re blind, please look out for traffic!”

I would not put it beyond these stupid people. 

After all, those must be the same Schmucks who came up with the flashing red lights and high pitched beeps when the subway doors close, to deter people from jumping in at the last second, after thirty or fourty years of not having this. Did it actually stop anyone from jumping in at the last second?
NO!

Will the bicycle lane markings achieve anything except wasting taxpayer money?
NO!

I wish I could grab power in this stupid country, and mop the floor with all those mouthbreathers from the political extremes left and right. There would be no refugee crisis, just a welcome. There would be no road markings for cyclists, just hefty fines for driving on the road without a licensed vehicle, without safety gear, and no license…

Take care, and dodge the two wheeled menaces,
A.

Cabin of Death under repair.

“Dear tenants, please notw that from the 2nd of May until the 12th of May 2016 this elevator willbe offline, due to maintenance and repair. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

Alright.
I am not burning down the house.
Yet.

I live on the 6th floor, or the 7th if you can’t count right (a.k.a. American), which means on a normal weekday I go down once in the morning, and ideally, up once in the afternoon. If there’s an “emergency” more often in both directions.

This time span includes a weekend, a holiday and a banking holiday. I hope that am all ten days from rhe earliest hour possible, until the latest possible, there will be men (amd women?) laboring hard to improve our technological standard and safety.
Because of not, I will become irked.
And then I will burn shit.
So I leave the house at 6am, there better be a bunch of schmucks greeting me with a smile and greasy faces ready to weld something, including the banking day, and holiday.
Or you turn the darn thing back on during the four day weekend you and your lazy jerkoffs are going to take, now are you?

I know, they will not be turning it on, and I know, they will not be working from 6am till 10pm, but at least I was able to let off some steam…

Take care, and steer clear of elevators…
A.

Two wheeled menace

I have had it with these crazy bicycles!

If Cyclists – and all you environmentally conscious people out there – want (them) to be taken as serious members of traffic we need to change a few things.

1.: Mandatory Driving License – as any motorist needs one, as any one on public transport needs a bus pass, these morons need one too. So they at least once have heard of traffic laws. No driving license, no bike.
2.: Mandatory helmet – if one is caught without one, the same “punishment” a car driver gets when driving wihtout a seatbelt. Period. Three strikes and the bike is pounded.
3.: Mandatory License Plates – Seriously. If these creeps mow down old hags and little kids, at least we can identify the vehicle that did it! And in most cases the owner of said bike will be the culprit. Fulfledged members of traffic need a license plate! But we can make these free in opposition to those on cars and motorbikes. Bike doesn’t have a license plate and is on the street – pounded.
4.: No more exceptions! – If I see one more “One Way” sign with the amendment “Except bicycles” I’ll plaster that with dogshit! And…
5.: …no more driving on the sidewalks! You wanted to be a full member of traffic, you use the road! Period! Violators should be givin a one month driving ban (including cars!), and the bike is confiscated for the duration of that time.
6.: No phoning, texting, riding it hands-free or drunk/DUI. Self explanatory I guess. Impoundment when violated.
7.: Mandatory service checks! Just as any car has to be checked if it is still road safe, the bikes need the same treatment. If it isn’t fit anymore, it needs to be either mended or discarded.
8.: Kids on bikes – No. Just no. Kids under the age of 12 can ride it in the company of their parents (or other guardian) on the road, or on designated bike lanes. Older, and they can have the driving license for the bike, and go out alone. But no more letting kids go out and play on their bike. These kids are more often than not monsters on two wheels and are a menace to others and themselves. (I was one once, trust me!) NO!

I am all for saving the environment.
Especially from CO2 emissions. But I’m also a huge fan of safety! But I can’t step outside my office without being run over by a crazy cyclist on the friggin sidewalk. I know not all of you un-motorised two wheeled folks out there are crazy lunatics that should only be allowed to drive in a padded underground tunnel where no one can get harmed. In fact, most of you are not.

But this is a safety measure that needs to be taken, a car or motorcycle needs a license plate, a “skilled” driver (yeah I know, but in theory they received training), checks and rules where driving it is allowed.

Bicycles need that too. It is crucial for road safety.
I have more ideas for road safety, but most of those are the insane ravings of a lunatic. Like: mandatory Dashcams for new cars, subsidies for installing such a system in your current car, so you can send footage of traffic violations (or other violations) to the police, since they can’t be everywhere. (In an insane plottwist, if the Police are the culprits, you too have the civic liberty/duty to document these incidents)
Or huge-ass subsidies for electric cars. Give people an insentive to buy one, and install waaaaay more charging stations throughout urban areas.
As I’ve said.
Maniacal ravings of a crazy man.

While I’m on the subject of bikes.

Stop it with the E-Bikes. They have the same speed a normal bike has, so it ain’t an electric motorbike. It’s crap for pseudo intellectual, environmentally stupid folk to jerk off their conscience concerning fitness and environment.
It’s crap. So stop it!

Take care, and drive safely,
A.

Let’s go to Mars…

Doctors think that a round trip to mars and back is too risky to ever send a human being.

Background radiation, coronal emissions, thus cancer, bone atrophy, etc.

Not to mention all the hazards of being that far away from earth.

If today’s health & safety fetish would’ve been present back in 1491  – the american continent would’ve remained undiscovered until we sent technologies there. Unmanned transoceanic probes.

Or back in the 1960s, no small step for a man, not even the thought of a leap for mankind. “Too dangerous!”

The future of mankind lies out there.
Not only because we fuck this planet over in the worst possible way, but because it is a simple fact! Suppose we get our shit together, no wars, poverty eliminated, hunger and thirat sated…eventually we need to spread to new areas. And those lie out there.
Period.

And it will be the brave and the bold who will go, take small steps to make giant leaps.

So, yes. Doctors say that going to mars will be too risky, and I say one day some dude (or gal) will go, live there for a time, return and have healthy babies afterwards.
Just to prove that doctors should shut their mouths sometimes.

In that respect, live long and prosper,
to boldly go, where no man has gone before.

Take care,
A.

Cabin of death!

When laziness is stronger than survival instinct, you’re fucked!
And in my case, it is!

Let me explain, the elevator in my home got stuck twice, with me on board.
It felt like a god damn death trap, and after each incident I vowed to walk the stairs from then on.
Suffice it to say, living in the 6th floor, not counting ground level, so for you Americans out there: the 7th floor, soon made me change my mind back to using the elevator.

I’m only writing this, because recently, I got stuck in the elevator at the office!

Death traps, death traps everywhere!

The elevator in my office failed because of a short circuit in the button panel, I pressed for ground level, the elevator went to the ground level then the short-circuit hit and it stopped between 1st floor and ground level. The elevator at home however is an entirely different story: I don’t know the reason for one of the two times I got stuck, but the other was, that someone had opened the door to the elevatorshaft in the basement. Health and safety systems engaged the emergency stop.

How do I know this so precisely?

Easy, I was suspected as one of the people who could’ve opened it…

That’s right I was suspected to have opened the basement elevator door, while inside the elevator between 5th and 6th floor! What kind of twisted fucked up idiot would make that connection?

Did the accusers really think I unlocked the basement elevator door, sprinted seven storeys up and took the elevator down? Or are they saying I astral-projected my ass down there, just to unlock the door, and get myself, and three other people, stuck in a room roughly 1.25 x 1 meter?
After the thing had stopped between floors the second time I knew how to get out and so I did, I shouldn’t have, but not for health and safety reasons, but insurance regulations!

In case you are wondering how I was able to exit the elevators: 1st time – help arrived. 2nd time – I opened the door myself. 3rd time – pressed the button for 1st floor and walked down…

My survival instinct still hasn’t gotten any stronger, I still take the elevator, rather than the stairs…

A.