Posts tagged ‘seeds’

What in the blazes?

I need to share this with you bcause if I wouldn’t, my wife would find me tomorrow with my head caved in, eyes rolled into the back of my skull, my brain, in attmept to flee these thoughts, is then dangling out of my nose, and all because of this shit!

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《 Oh the wondrous discoveries of grocery shopping. (f.l.t.r.: apricot-dumpling JUICE, applestrudle JUICE, basil seeds drink [rosepedal-cherry flavor], chia seeds drink [lime-ginger “flavor”])》

What is this stuff used for? Summoning demons in some weird vegan witch circle?
Is it used to mind control people, some weird MK Ultra?
Did they really mix/press/mush chia/basil seeds?
Why?
Does this attract aliens? Or repel sasquatsh?

Did they honestly cook apricot dumplings, throw them in a power juicer and filled the result in bottles? Same with applestrudle.
Do they want to pump this through the embalmed remains of the emperor in the hopes of raising an applestrudle-vampire? And empress Elisabeth as an apricot-dumpling banshee?
If so, why?

Can it kill Werewolves? Or make the undead accept you as one of their own? Will you be able to communicate with ghosts once you consume all four?
Does this make a cocktail that can cure the common cold? Cancer? Will it make the four (or five) horsemen appear?
Will Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses appear, holding hands wishing for peace on earth, if you pour these four liquids in one spot?

Is this catering to hipsters, or dangerously deranged lunatics who should be put on watch lists if they purchase this? What kind of deranged juicers are considering this? Is this the effect of, and not the cause for, hell opening up?

These four products are the dumbest, most brain-inflammatory, aneurysm inducing things I have seen in a regular supermarket.
Especially stuff that says ‘Superfood’ on it…

Anyhow, thank you letting me share my otherwise lethal brainspasm, induced by illegally stupid crap.

Take care,
A.

Life ain’t that hard, gardening

Having a garden, or sufficiently large balcony to pot some plants, might get you to try your hand at gardening.
But if you listen to the people who do it, it sounds like fraking rocket science. Especially the hippy type characters who run a gardening blog or shit like that.

Life ain’t that hard, it’s simple. Really it is, plants have been on land longer than any animal has, so that shit knows how to propagate, right?

Step 1 – take your seed or seedling that you obtained from a trusted source of your discretion, put it in soil. Boom. Finished.
Step 2 – care for it like you would a pet. Give it some daylight (you’ll either figure it out how much, or have just one option on your balcony), plenty of water (don’t drown it, don’t dry it up) and
Step 3 – feed it. Yes, feed it. Fertiliser! Either purchase some of your choosing, or make your own (kitchen scraps, anything that decomposes but if you are smell aware, don’t use meat, diary products or the like. Plants are essentially cannibals.)
Step 4 – Plants. Reap your harvest, or enjoy your pretty flowers, what have you.
Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat. Unless you have perennials.

There, saved you a ton of browsing through the internet and getting confused by the Hippies. If anyone tries to shove shit down your pipe about gardening, referr them to this list.
Consise, and true.

PS:
Step 6 (throw it in there somewhere) – Pest control. Unless you are running a farm, trie and use natural pest control. ladybugs eat mites. Salt kills and deterrs snails. And so on. Don’t whip out the “nukes” unless you make a living off of your gardening.

Have fun,
A.

Life ain’t that hard: Raising kids!

Don’t get me wrojg, it’s a hell of a job, it’s taxing and it IS hard.

But people make some kind of dramatical fuzz about this, as if no one before them had ever raised a child.

Basically it all boils down to a few key issues:
-Feed your kid!
Obvious, isn’t it? At first you give the baby milk, later (~6months) you introduce food, wane milk, only food. Ain’t that hard, eh? Just keep it balanced between healthy and sinfully tasty. And remember, humans are omnivores, not herbivores. Raising a kid on a vegan diet is harmful!

-Keep your kid clean.
Doesn’t sound too hard. You can learn the basics from every other movie out there that has a Baby in it. From there on out, it is a path of “Obvious-shite”. Changing diapers (you’ll get the hang of when it’s full), washing/bathing/showering, dressing, in between clean up jobs (sticky fingers, are just the beginning of a wonderful dirt journey!), keeping the laundry clean. Not, that, hard. Really.

-Parenting.
This is a vague term. What I want to say with this is, that you need to do some hard labour: Rules, Rewards and Punishments.
Yes. RRnP.

This is the sole reason why I write this.
There is a new parenting … thing, in the german language bubble, that I would translate as “unraising”.

These people stipulate that “raising” in and of itself is an act of aggression, a form of violence, in which one party (parents) put’s itself above the other party (kid/s), and then forcefully raises them. That the notion of parents having to protect, and look out for, their kids, is equal to “the white mans burden” (for those of you who have failed history class: having to protect the primitive/savage people in the colonies from themselves), and that “raising” in any way, shape or form is undemocratic, and is against equality…
Therefore they are against any rules, any intervention from the parents or someone else, in the development of their kids.

Well. Let me start with the lack of rules.
Listen, they took plant seeds to space, to see how they fare in zero G (=lack of any rules). It didn’t fare well. Plants, as it sems, need, other than light to guide them, gravity. They need the rules of UP and DOWN, to know where to grow to. Children need, other than food, also rules, to know what to grow into. A savage that doesn’t know right from wrong, just doesn’t fly well.

Raising is not a form of violence, claiming this is like saying gravity is a form of violence. Every animal is being raised. Every animal has social rules, and unless you’re a creature that is abandoned at birth (or as an egg), you are being raised! Always!

Parenting, a family, is NO democracy. There is NO equality.
Period!
My child is not equal to me in decisions that affect the entire family, or him. I cannot (and would not), for example, let him eat only candy.
If I had a daughter I would not allow her to leave the house in a skimpy outfit at twelve years of age.
I am the parent, I have knowledge, and experience.
Therefore, I am the one making rules. End of story. If you neglect your duties as a parent, BTW, the government has the right AND THE DUTY to take the child/-ren away from you. So allowing your twelve year old daughter out at 2am in a skimpy outfit might get your daughter taken away from you – if you’re lucky…

Again. Life ain’t that hard, raise your kids. Parenting is hard work, but is not something that will ruin you or your spirit. Countless generations before you did it, and will in the future.

Sure, it is important to provide room for your kid to grow into, but it also important to coarse it away from turning into a boar. There just is no future for a person that is unwilling to work, gets up at 1pm, and perhaps shits himself because going to the loo is too much of an effort. That’s what raising provides, a future, a guideline, and rules. As said above, RRnP.

I leave you with the fail of “unraising” parenting, and a desperate cry for attention and rules, I hope it’s a hoax, but at this point…

“My son (10) stopped going to school, five weeks ago. I can’t talk him into going again. Since he stopped, he started wetting and pooing himself. He doesn’t wanna talk or leave his room. Talking with him requires you to go into his room and sit beside him when he’s at the computer or in bed, but the stench is unbearable. I don’t know what to say to him anymore.”

Again, raise your fucking kids! It’s not that hard.
A.

Seeds

Seeds!

“I’ll give you half of my seeds, you give me half of yours…oh wait, we can’t – it’s illegal!”

Before you say I’m posting something out of a dystopian story I either read or wrote – no, this is real.
At least halfway. Not yet ratified this is a law in the making from the European Union.

It calls for standardized fruits and vegetables – and hence only certified seeds – so consumers won’t get confused. If we the consumers are that demented, we deserve to be cheated!

All this is about, is to increase the profits of large seed providing companies! It wouldn’t surprise me if behind the majority of bribe money lobbying is Monsanto the-company-that-shall-not-be-named.

This law, should it ever become reality, is the definite end of small breeds.
Let’s say some small Styrian apples.

The farmer can’t even give away (for free!) seeds to other farmers, or friends, or people who would like to plant one solitary apple tree in their garden.
Why?
Because the consumer might get confused. O.o

If the allow only certified sorts viri, fungi and pests have it relatively easy to wipe out the majority of our food supply. But if all pesticides fail there is still the holy grail of the seed companies: GMOs!

Naturally killing/driving off the pests, viri, fungi and bacteria – so we can injest poison!
Large quantities of delicious looking, watery tasting, fast grown poison.
Bon apetit!

But hey, pharma industry gotta live off of something too.

Yes this sounds like a conspiracy theory, I know, and I apologize for the lunacy that might be through this post, but that is the law-in-the-making from the EU shining through.

Making it illegal for farmers to sell their styrian apples to spanish customers in spain – I get that. They want apples from their region, or “standard” apples.

Making it illegal to sell said apples outside a certain radius from where they’re grown – still understandable, but not quite as well.

Making it illegal for them to be sold locally, and for farmers to trade or sell seeds – lunacy.

Absolute, utter lunacy.

They want the small breeds wiped out so everyone has to use the shit the companies have to sell.

It is common practice by the-company-that-shall-not-be-named to contractually forbid farmers to let their crops grow to maturity in order to collect seeds.

It also forbidden for salad farmers in my country to do so.

If, however, a bee, a bird, or the frakking wind carries a seed of GMO plants to MY field from Farmer Johnstons GMO field, the-company-that-shall-not-be-named is suing ME for license fees! Which brings me to the question: My Mother in law has an apple tree in her garden, a few branches extend out on the sidewalk – should someone take an apple from the sidewalk and plant the seeds – can she sue them? Or is she the culprit for not containing her vile, evil, natural, non-standard appleseeds? At least my son will know REAL apples.

Now, I don’t want to sound paranoid, but this is the first step to widespread application of GMOs. Monopoles being erected, or at least prepared. Monocultures in the making, demanding high prized fertilizer, etc.

If we ever have to face a Zombie Apocalypse, it stems from the GMOs that mutate us into Zombies.

I just hope I get as lucky as Zed…

A.

Addendum: After watching a documentary I have to urge to read labels more closely. If it is so safe to eat GMOs I have an idea: Grab all the CEOs of the-company-that-shall-not-be-named and others like it, and force feed them GMOs ONLY for a year. If they survive (and I want to stress the IF here) and they’re healthy, I will shut up. But I’d take up any bet that these people are eating organic / GMO free stuff ONLY.