Posts tagged ‘sign’

Roadrage 09. Sept.

They made this.
This exists. Outside. On the road, not a training course for kids.

On a bicycle lane, exclusively for cyclists.

Let me rephrase that: They made real markings for cyclists!
The one group of traffic participants who frequently ignore traffic lights, traffic signs, and, most importantly, any and all markings! Who think traffic laws are loose guidelines or recommendations and safety gear is for loosers who actually value life and health.

They have shat out taxpayer money, to paint teeny-tiny cyclist markings on a bicycle lane, to make the one group of traffic participants that could only be more dangerous if they rode bikes made out of solid plutonium, feel safer.

Why?
Why on earth would you do useless crap like that?
What will be next? Signs for blind people not written in Braille? “If you’re blind, please look out for traffic!”

I would not put it beyond these stupid people. 

After all, those must be the same Schmucks who came up with the flashing red lights and high pitched beeps when the subway doors close, to deter people from jumping in at the last second, after thirty or fourty years of not having this. Did it actually stop anyone from jumping in at the last second?
NO!

Will the bicycle lane markings achieve anything except wasting taxpayer money?
NO!

I wish I could grab power in this stupid country, and mop the floor with all those mouthbreathers from the political extremes left and right. There would be no refugee crisis, just a welcome. There would be no road markings for cyclists, just hefty fines for driving on the road without a licensed vehicle, without safety gear, and no license…

Take care, and dodge the two wheeled menaces,
A.

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Crappy Birthday in April

image

Another one of the signs that the police finds in the den of some mass murderer.

The slogan “If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.” is dubious at best. Sure, some lowlife moron might think it is inspirational – but those are the same people who think “Don’t dream your life, live your dreams!” is deeper than the Marianas trench or en parr with Buddhist teachings.
If you have someone in your life that fits that fescription, there you go. If you have someone who might turn out to be a psyhcopath, maybe this gift will save your life.
All I do know is, if you build it, he will come…

Crappy Birthday,
A.

Empty bottles

Harkening back to the good ol’ parent-teacher conference, and the burning issue of the filling status of the waterbottle, I saw such an empty bottle today.
And her husband. And their three daughters.

But one thing at a time.

We went to the supermarket, just entering the parking lot, an Audi A6 stops dead in his tracks just in front of us, hindering us to reach a suitable spot to park our car.

Admitted, the place looked desolate, due to construction work being done on it, but a giant; HUUGE banner above the door told visitors in three simple words “Open despite Renovations” (in german “Offen trotz Umbau”), in all capital letters, the sign told from afar that they’re inindeed open.
So the car blocked us, and then the shotgun side opens, a woman – type: former UdSSR mail order bride, twenty years later – leaves. She walks up to the door, which is well lit, and people are in there. She enters, looks at the carts, at the register, at the people, then turns around and nods with a glad smile.
Now the car parks, now I see the driver. Type: guy who bought a broad from the former UdSSR twenty years ago.
I try to calm myself, maybe they both can’t read/speak german, despite their local registration plate. (It happens, more often than you think)
Oh, wait, they have HOW many girls between 6 and 8? Three? One of them ought to be able to read that three word sentence above the door…

Later I hear him talk at the regoster with the cashier. He is from around here. He is a native. His natove language IS the same as the sign/banner above the door. This is the kind of parent that asks about the bottle three times. The kind that writes down even the most mundane basic shit, and STILL gets everything wrong.

I saw an empty bottle today. Five of them in fact…

11. Dec. 2014

20140405_133948What ever you say, oddly disturbing sign. As long as it includes homicide, dismemberment, mayhem, destruction and a neat nuclear meltdown fire.

This is the perfect gift for every one of your relatives who have lost focus of what LIVING LIFE is. If you’Re running to the office and work 60 hours a week, and spend the weekend tidying the house and mowing the lawn, without feeling happiness – this is for YOU! (Also I will bring it to you in a certain paper bag…along wiht the entrails of the last person that died in their 40s from a heart attack due to stress…)