Posts tagged ‘smartphone’

The Digitally Dilapidated

During our stay in a four star hotel at the beautiful istrian beach, with warm, clear waters and a great view on Rovinj, I noticed something.
Parents, kids of all ages, entire families, couples, all just watching/reading shit of their phones, tablets, and in one case, a laptop even.

At breakfast, lunch, dinner, beach, pool, wherever.
“What did you see during your vacation in Coratia?”
“YouTube, Facebook and Instagram”
Fuck you.

Here, my conviction, that smartphones aren’t made for us, got it’s final veneer. Perhaps some future generation that is truly capable of multitasking might take advantage of this stuff, but it is not for us.

Instead of spending time with their families, their spouses, their parents, their siblings, their children, or just plain taking in the vistas, nature, clean air and relative silence, people are staring at their phones! Instead of getting away from the shit that they are confronted with daily at home, they take it with them EVERYWHERE, and then wonder, why they do not feel relaxed.
I had people at the hike through the Plitvica Lakes Nationalpark, looking at their phones, occasionally looking up, going “wow” snapping a crappy cellphone picture and then continue typing/reading shit.

For Fucks Sake! LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD! Not the virtual world. Converse with one another, and get more substance out of fewer connections, instead of more connections with less substance.
Moronic cancers of human (de)evolution.
Take care, and put away those fucking devices, make a scheduled “social media (half)hour” once a day, and other than that, no social media, no texts/messages. Same with news. Just calls.
A.
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Chestnuts

Come fall I used to search for chestnuts all afternoon after school. 

I, as well as my peers, was nuts for chestnuts. Pretty useless crap, those chestnuts. Can’t eat them. They “spoil” soon after collecting them (as in they shrivel up). You could craft shit with them. Which I never did. 

I just liked them. Their shine when fresh. The texture of the hard exterior. The overall look was magnificent. As a kid I likened the bright spot to a navel. They were cute, magnificent, beautiful things. That I just had to collect. 

Just to throw them out soon after, when they were ugly. And molding. But always with sadness in my heart. 

I was waiting at the bus stop the other day. (After a shrink appointment) And there were a few chestnut trees. Since my son is in that magical age of four, I decided to see if I could find some for him, despite there being numerous kindergartens and primary schools in the area. 

I found numerous. 

Kids these days don’t seem to collect them. There’s a proverb floating around the internet. “Every time a kid stares at a smartphone, an adventure dies in a tree somewhere.” 

Have a nice autumn, and go collect these little useless fuckers with your kids.

A.

Crappy Birthday in September

​http://www.smartbe.co/

Introducing Smartbe, the smart stroller for dumb people who shouldn’t have children, let alone be left alone with them.

This thing can be controlled via app, on your “I’m-a-certified-moron”-watch or your smart phone. It then will follow your every move, always staying a certain distance away from you, so you can jog (an activity for idiots, especially on paved ground), or take calls and stroll around like a squirrel on speed (always shadowed by that stroller which is creepy), hunt down, mercilessly attack and catch imaginary critters in the park, or just walk without touching the darn thing – god forbid, you could form an emotional bond with the small entity inside (hey you handsfree-bimbo, now you can reacher over and “touch” ME!)

The fondle-a-stranger-friendly distance to stroller and child, the emotional cold so to say, is continued in other features of this space age stroller: 

¤In case you are so distanced to your parasitic offspring that you walk away from the stroller/pram with the baby inside, you can get an alarm, on your phone! I’m sure it will not be tripped by the twenty people who check if the child is alright while you let some dude ‘plow your fields’ around the next bush. 

¤Your child might be chilly or exposed to too much wind/sun? No problem, just close the canopy on the little fucker from the app, no need to get too close!

¤Curious how your child is doing? Forget bending over and looking, you might catch a whiff of those nasty baby smells, just look at your brat through the camera! Best part, your child won’t ever even know you just looked at it – it will remain frightened, crying and desperate for some warm human interaction. 

I must admit, the seatheater and the bottle warmer are innovative ideas for a pram, but the rest?

Look people, life ain’t that hard: if you have kids your pre-child activities are restricted, or put on hold for a few years. You wanna jog or fondle strangers in the park? Do it while your partner has the kid, or a nanny, or a grandmother (they usually beat other people to spend time with their grandchildren). 

But, do not take them with. 

Especially in a fucking pram that is (will be) presumably powered by the same kind of Lithium Ion batteries that lit up a few “hoverboards”. 

There are easier, less idiotic and cheaper ways to kill your baby. Or give it up for adoption.

Or better yet – do not have a child, your genes deserve no chance of being passed on.

Crappy Birthday.

Augmented Reality

The concept of this sounds like the most awesome invention in entertainment, the most innovatve idea in navigation and information ever.

Sounds.
But isn’t.

Plenty of old-schoolers have ripped on “Pokemon Go”. Bashing it with plenty of valid, and not so valid points pf criticism. 

I ain’t gonna chime in to the chorus, either loving or hating it – I don’t care for it.
At all.

Of course, some are blaming the game for the things the game can not be faultet for: our unpreparedness for augmented reality games.
•As individuals some lack the common sense and decency not to walk into hospitals – including ICUs, not to hike over graves on cemeteries, not to wander onto construction sites and fall into open holes in the ground, not to walk into oncoming traffic. I can hardly wait for the first morons to slip into nuclear power plants and get irradiated because a pikachu was hiding there.
Is the game to fault for any of this?
Nope. Human idiocy is.
•There are Pokemon in holocaust memorial sites, in hospitals, on graveyards, etc., preemptively the governments of the countries where this game is available should have told Niantic/Nintendo NOT to put shit there. Especially after the far less known and far less popular game Ingress had faced similar criticisms. Did the people in power learn? Nope. Did the game developers – who built on Ingress – learn? Nope. So at least a partial fault can be passed on to the development team.

We as a society were not prepared, our governments were not prepared, the developers were not prepared.
To some extent we still aren’t.
But this is not the fault of the game.
People, societies and governments were not prepared for TV, cellphones, smartphones or the internet. Some still struggle with that shit altogether. (Especially considering the lack of a coherent and transparent copyright law, eh?)

Faulting the game for exposing our own unpreparedness, our inadequacy to adapt to the new situation, is an escape mechanism.

It frightens us, how stupid people “become” when playing this game, it frightens us even more to know that these people were reckless idiots before, and Pokemon was just the catalyst that brought it to daylight.
It frightens us to see that just this easily a company can develop something – something so immaterial as software even – that turns our view of the world on its head, that makes everything different, that shows us our own inadequacies, and limitations.

It is just the same as saying that violent games make people run amok.
They don’t. These days it is relatively easy to obtain a weapon, if you have those tendencies.
If you have the tendency to run amok, you may still have an inkling of common sense preventing you from doing it at the first impulse, and you are drawn in by the violent games. Did the game make the homicidal maniacs? No. But they gravitated towards them.
Did Pokemon Go make the people stupid? No. It acted as a catalyst and exposed the window lickers as what they are.

Verdict: Not guilty.
Let Pokemon Go, go. Leave it be.

Accept that idiots are everywhere, and lament the fact that we did not turn Augmented Reality into the hottest tourist and learning app of all ages. That we did not turn augmented reality into a sky gazing app.
Be sad that you can’t whip out your phone, direct the camera to the weird cloud in the sky and it tells you what sort of cloud it is, what it means weather wise….and so on. What tree is this? What flower am I looking at? etc.
No we turned augmented reality into a game.
Just a game.

Take care,
A.

Vacation 1

I would like to grace you with pictures here, but the question is, whether I have an acceptable connection to the net to do that.

So, if you are reading this, I will be sitting on a farm, with little/no Internet.

As a substitute, a balcony picture:
image

Tomatoes, Raspberries, Blackberries, moar Tomatoes.

Writers and their tools

I saw a post on an entertainment page the other day *cough*9gag*cough* about famous authors and what they use for writing.

What they prefer, for writing.

Most used some sort of pen, glorifying it as if the pen was actually the author, not them. One used a typewriter, one a computer, older than dirt.

I sat there and scratched my head.

Not because they used that shit, or glorified it beyond belief (as if they got paid for it?).
But because I always saw them waaaaay beyond my reach, still do. I could never come anywhere close to their league, let alone play in it (I’d lose, I know that).
As I thought about that I also had to think about my writing preferences, and I shall let you in on them.

ANYTHING THAT I CAN USE TO BRING THOUGHTS INTO WRITTEN FORM.

Be it my tablet, cellphone, netbook, notebook, desk computer, pen and paper, nails and flesh.

Thought -> something -> written out

Perfect!
I don’t have a favorite writing utensil, no fetish for a certain tool, other than my mind, I don’t need shit. I don’t need the perfect pen, a reliable trusty old computer or typewriter from the GeStaPo! I need a tool to bring thoughts into written form, and that is it.

It is my opinion that as soon as you glorify your writing utensil, you’re on a downward slope. I obsiosly seem to be mistaken, since all these famous and successful writiers do it, but for me it doesn’t work.

To my fellow writiers out there who have issues with this as well, keep writing on what ever platform is handy to you, and don’t strive to be like the famous ones. You are unique. Your writing is unique, and so it should be with how you write.

Carry on,
A.

The wonders and mysteries

of the Samsung Battery.

I’m a Samsung user.
I love my Samsung Smartphone(s) and Tablet, as much as you can love an inanimte object. I write on them (with exceptions) and couldn’t imagine modern life without them.

My first and second smartphones were both from LG, and I hold them near and dear to my heart, they were really good smartphones. Small, reliable (until the mic started failing on the newer one) and usable.
But not as good as Samsung!

I got a second hand Galaxy S2, and I couldn’t be happier.

But that was the first time I got in touch with a Samsung Battery. You charge it, it shows 72%, you unplug it because of reasons, go to take a dump for example, you take a look at the display and without being connected the battery charged another 5%!
What the actual Frak???
My Tablet Battery is the same baffling mystery in a bigger device. 100% goes to 65% in five minutes, you turn off the screen for three minutes turn it back on and you’re suddenly at 82%!

Samsung Batteries seem to be either ghost (dis)charging or simply broken.

I had a replacement battery for the S2, and that never showed any of these weird symptoms. Because it was thirdparty technology perhaps. But no matter how hard these batteries hit me in the balls, I take solace that in the fact that at least I’m not using apple. 😉

A.