Posts tagged ‘smartphones’

The Digitally Dilapidated

During our stay in a four star hotel at the beautiful istrian beach, with warm, clear waters and a great view on Rovinj, I noticed something.
Parents, kids of all ages, entire families, couples, all just watching/reading shit of their phones, tablets, and in one case, a laptop even.

At breakfast, lunch, dinner, beach, pool, wherever.
“What did you see during your vacation in Coratia?”
“YouTube, Facebook and Instagram”
Fuck you.

Here, my conviction, that smartphones aren’t made for us, got it’s final veneer. Perhaps some future generation that is truly capable of multitasking might take advantage of this stuff, but it is not for us.

Instead of spending time with their families, their spouses, their parents, their siblings, their children, or just plain taking in the vistas, nature, clean air and relative silence, people are staring at their phones! Instead of getting away from the shit that they are confronted with daily at home, they take it with them EVERYWHERE, and then wonder, why they do not feel relaxed.
I had people at the hike through the Plitvica Lakes Nationalpark, looking at their phones, occasionally looking up, going “wow” snapping a crappy cellphone picture and then continue typing/reading shit.

For Fucks Sake! LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD! Not the virtual world. Converse with one another, and get more substance out of fewer connections, instead of more connections with less substance.
Moronic cancers of human (de)evolution.
Take care, and put away those fucking devices, make a scheduled “social media (half)hour” once a day, and other than that, no social media, no texts/messages. Same with news. Just calls.
A.

Crappy Birthday in September

​http://www.smartbe.co/

Introducing Smartbe, the smart stroller for dumb people who shouldn’t have children, let alone be left alone with them.

This thing can be controlled via app, on your “I’m-a-certified-moron”-watch or your smart phone. It then will follow your every move, always staying a certain distance away from you, so you can jog (an activity for idiots, especially on paved ground), or take calls and stroll around like a squirrel on speed (always shadowed by that stroller which is creepy), hunt down, mercilessly attack and catch imaginary critters in the park, or just walk without touching the darn thing – god forbid, you could form an emotional bond with the small entity inside (hey you handsfree-bimbo, now you can reacher over and “touch” ME!)

The fondle-a-stranger-friendly distance to stroller and child, the emotional cold so to say, is continued in other features of this space age stroller: 

¤In case you are so distanced to your parasitic offspring that you walk away from the stroller/pram with the baby inside, you can get an alarm, on your phone! I’m sure it will not be tripped by the twenty people who check if the child is alright while you let some dude ‘plow your fields’ around the next bush. 

¤Your child might be chilly or exposed to too much wind/sun? No problem, just close the canopy on the little fucker from the app, no need to get too close!

¤Curious how your child is doing? Forget bending over and looking, you might catch a whiff of those nasty baby smells, just look at your brat through the camera! Best part, your child won’t ever even know you just looked at it – it will remain frightened, crying and desperate for some warm human interaction. 

I must admit, the seatheater and the bottle warmer are innovative ideas for a pram, but the rest?

Look people, life ain’t that hard: if you have kids your pre-child activities are restricted, or put on hold for a few years. You wanna jog or fondle strangers in the park? Do it while your partner has the kid, or a nanny, or a grandmother (they usually beat other people to spend time with their grandchildren). 

But, do not take them with. 

Especially in a fucking pram that is (will be) presumably powered by the same kind of Lithium Ion batteries that lit up a few “hoverboards”. 

There are easier, less idiotic and cheaper ways to kill your baby. Or give it up for adoption.

Or better yet – do not have a child, your genes deserve no chance of being passed on.

Crappy Birthday.

Look up…or not.

When ever new technology or a new idea was introduced into a society, it caused turmoil.

It caused “old school” folks to prophesy doom. Always!
Look it up. Broad writing and reading skills introduced? “Young people can’t memorize things anymore. Society will be ruined.”
New vehicles going faster than 30 km/h? “A human body can’t take that velocity (for long). We’re doomed!”
TV? “It kills imagination. Kids don’t go outside anymore.”

And while it is true that video killed the radiostar (Artist over Art), the majority of these fears were unjustified and unwarranted.

So why on earth do social media and smartphones/Tablets(/GoogleGlass?) ruin our society?
Easy. They don’t.

Yes, Facebook, google+ and other social networks aren’t the same as talking with your friends, acquaintances and relatives in real life. But you ARE interacting with another human being (somewhere)!
You might not know any of your bazillion friends personally, but you do know them sort of. You are interacting with (some of) them on a daily basis.
From some 50 years ago up until recently (and still) people sat in busses and trams and subways with newspapers, or books, not interacting with anyone.
Just reading.

I’m a book buff myself, but if you break it down, sitting in the subway and reading a book is more antisocial than sitting there Fecesbooking someone!
Before you are an antisocial asshole not noticing people around you or anywhere else other than inside your head, keep your head down on that little screen.

Young people have social interactions with peers.
Period.
You don’t have to mingle with some one you might know well, but don’t like their hobbies and views on things, just because they are your age group and in your class. You communicate with people you get along with well. And if they are half a globe away – so what?

The entire “You are antisocial” campaign is a money thing people. Shelf that shit right away as a passing trend. New technology, new trends, new ideas have always brought forth the ones who felt uncomfortable with it, or just couldn’t get it.

Some day down the road I too will say that this new shit will ruin our society, because, let’s face it people, I’m not getting any younger, and my comfort zone will be broken. When you get a digital lens that connects with the internet and allows you to be online 24/7 even in your sleep, I will opt-out. But my son, or my grandchildren, probably won’t.
Remember what our parents said about the new things we had as kids and teens? Right. Now think about your stance on the current technology.

Don’t let the fad of some people who want to seem edgy, cool and rebellious, while at the same time being conservative -ish fool you. Although you might have 4.000.621 friends on facebook, and not know a single one of them personally, you have contacts. You are NOT alone.
And if you feel down and blue, and in desperate need of personal interaction, there are people around you. Go to a pub, a sports event, there are colleagues and relatives.
It ain’t that hard, but don’t jump the train of stupid.

Take care, and talk to each other at least once in a while.
A.