Posts tagged ‘soap’

LATH Hand washing

Recently they exchanged the old soap dispenser in our office.

Instead of the sleek old one, where you pulled the lever to get some soap out, we now have one to push and it squirts out some foam.

So far, so shitty.

But. Apparently they think we’ve gotten so dumb from computer virus infections WE got, that we don’t know how to wash our hands anymore, or as if we haven’t been taught in preschool and/or by our (grand)parents.

No. We stupid keyboard monkeys need PICTOGRAMS to show us!

Listen, life really ain’t that hard: soap, hands, rub, rinse. Unless you’re a surgeon, then it’s more complicated, but for the rest of us, this’ll do.

If you have any defense for the pictogram soap dispenser, keep it in a dark orifice of your body.
Grown people, working at an office, shouldn’t need this.
People who are old enough to make financial decisions/transactions at a mall, shouldn’t need this.
No-one who is old enough to go to the restroom alone, should have need of this!

But in light of recent news stories, SJW issues, election results, and the overall state the western world is in, I guess these pictograms don’t penetrate far enough in our society…

Take care,

Life ain’t that hard, hygiene

It was a joke, okay?
It was meant as a joke, for frak’s sake!

But then again….what’s with the body odor in the subway at 6am? And the mold colored teeth?
Ah, frak it.
Here we go again, it’s really simple:

•Teeth, brush ’em. There’s an extra device for it, called a toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and scrub the little frakers thoroughly, at least once a day, or better yet, twice. Or three times!

Like George Carlin said, there are 4 key areas:
Armpits, Asshole, Crotch and Teeth. We already did the teeth, so we’ll substitute Teeth with Feet.

•Armpits, Asshole, Crotch and Feet – these four areas need a good washing at least on a daily basis to avoid any of the pesky stink we’re so often confronted with.

•The rest. This is not a free ticket to neglect the rest of your body. I wash it daily, but one should at least every other day.

•Hair. If it is shorter than shoulder length, every other day. Longer than that, every three to four days. If it reaches your ass – cut it.

•Shaving, my dear fellow men, is a necessity unless you want to look like a Hobo. That stubby three day beard of yours looks like crap smeared onto a plucked goose carcass. Ergo: SHAVE!

•Depending on your personal preferences,  shave your body parts as you please.

Now that you’re washed and kempt, get some clean clothes and…no. I already did that…go away…

As usual, take care, and don’t forget, for cases the next shower is a little bit away, there’s a thing called “Deodorant”.

PS: If you’re sitting there wondering what to wash yourself with, it is called soap. Or showergel. You can take a bubble bath, or regular bath. Just cleanse yourselves.

T minus 12

DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!Lysol No-Touch soap dispenser. (Image from

The most senseless piece of appliances ever constructed. I get sick and tired of the advertisments for this crap in this country. It is being endorsed by health organisations, and shows kids being all clean after touching a dirty dog.


A soap that kills 99.9% of all germs, needs a dispenser you don’t need to touch? Listen, if you leave dirt, and germs, on the dispenser as you dispense some soap – YOU’RE GOING TO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTERWARDS ANYWAYS! Please dear god, throw brains from the heavens, or rocks. I don’t care which, as long as you hit something!

If you have someone whose tolerance towards virrii and germs should be lowered by 99.9% – give them this gem of human ingenuity. Once they (and their brood) have NO tolerance towards germs what so ever, due to living in a sterile environment, bring in someone with a nasty influenza and pneumonia…

T minus 22

soap?“Winter Edition Dish Detergent ‘Cookie magic'”

If you ever wondered “How could I have MORE apetite during the season of cookies, cookies, COOKIES, COOOOOOOKIIIIEEEESSSS …” [insert Arnold Pun here], easy: wash your dishes with this detergent!
Smells 100% like chimically induced cookie madness [see above], in a stylsh bottle that reminds you of all the uncomfortable sweaters you ever got (or will get). Ideal for poisoning the cookies, since it smells like fracking cookies!