Posts tagged ‘social’

Social media ain’t for us

Social networks have turned people into shittier friends.

That’s my conclusion after going off of Facebook and not doing much on Mastodon for a few days.

We have our connections, and acting on the “assumption” that our audience is there, we send something out into the aether and giddily await reactions.

We do not actively seek out our friends: “Hey, how are you? Got time for a coffee to talk about stuff?”
No, we act as if we are on a stage, we await reactions, and we react.
We perform.
We perform the initial action, and we perform the reactions.
It’s the same across all platforms, not just Facebook, but also Mastodon, and of course Instagram, Twitter, MeWe, Tsu and all the other garbage heaps too.

Social networks make us (more) asocial.
Social networks aren’t for us (people).

We are social animals.
We, once, needed the group, the tribe, to survive:
Loners died. Groups thrived.

It is engrained in our genes, that we need a group. Our friends, our family, our tribe, our people.
But because today (read: current times) it is harder to maintain friendships (full time employment, separated by many kilometres, different life choices [f.e. kids vs. no kids], ever shifting and expanding ‘tribal’ landscapes, etc.) we *could* use social media as a crutch, as an add on.

But this add-on has become full on bloat-ware that is now taking over the entire system.

People have shifted their entire lives into social media, they are always on, always available (except when asleep).
Which I find highly disturbing.
Which, incidentally, is only adding to my decision to kill all my Facebook and Google related stuff, and limit my Mastodon time.

If I want to scream into the void and wait for any reactions, I’m doing it on my blog. (Or I’d go to a comedy club on stage.)

But I’m done with social media. It is asocial. It has taught me that.
I noticed that I have become a shittier friend, and I’ve seen this happen to other people as well: Be seen. Be seen seeing.
But I don’t want to be an actor on a stage receiving attention at the speed and value of a Like/Fav/RT/mention/etc.
I want REAL connections; conversations – even digital – but not over an eavesdropping service that finds ways to insert itself and sabotage the entire thing.

No thanks.

Whatever you do out there, take care,
A.

Inspirational Bullshit

Because that is against human nature.
Because it is engrained in our very DNA.
It is what has made us as a species so successful.

Distrust, fear, hatred.

The driving force of most of human development, if not all. Without it we’d be loving hippies….living in caves.
Or buried in the back of the same by those that came and bashed our heads in.

Sure, we need to overcome this eventually.
But our time to evolve past our “programming” has not yet come.

Our time to move beyond our bronze age mythology hasn’t even arrived yet.
We still have horoscopes and religion and soothsayers and zodiacs and homeopathy. And those were our own inventions, things we made up, but haven’t yet discarded, despite it being proven bullshit. So, is it any surprise that we are still hostage to our genetics?

No.

At least not to me.

We are a killer species…and I hope we will survive long enough to overcome this, but realistically….

Take care,
A.

Symbol of hope?

First off, so you know where I come from:
I am socially incompetent.
I am bad with people.

Talking, especially outside groups of flamboyant extroverts and lunatic introverts, is not my thing.
Even online.

Talking about my minor accomplishments is not my thing. Praising my own work as if it’s the next best thing to sliced bread (or the great pyramids, since sliced bread is mundane shit), not my cup of tea.
Small talk about absolutely mundane crap without consequence to me, others, or the world, is beyond my abilities, beyond my understanding.

So, this morning, just like last week a few times, I see the symbol of hope pop up on my Tablet’s task bar:
The all familiar WordPress ‘W’.

A like?
A new follower?
(With dread in my mind) A comment?

No.
“Your scheduled post has been published! Spread the word!” Frak you!

I made the connections to my social media outlets so I wont have to spread the word about my posts myself.
That’s your job now.
Because I can’t praise my stuff, because I can’t do people stuff.
This made me anxious.
No like, no follower, not even a comment.
Just this crap that would send me out doing the social stuff, that I can’t do and outsourced to automated bots.

Where’s my “Triggor worning!!”?

Speaking of senseless trigger shit. Or stuff that the special snowflakes should (and surely are already) cry about having a trigger warning.
Facebook memories.

Oh yeah sure, another Fecesbook rant, how original…

Let me elaborate a bit, a dear friend of mine died. FB-Memories drudged up a post said friend commented on. Made me feel a bit blue that this friend will never again comment on something I post.
Trigger warning?

I’m the last person calling for trigger warnings, I hate that shit. Life does not come with trigger warnings.
Suppose your dad hanged himself on an Oak tree? Do you expect/demand trigger warnings at each oak tree? Of course not.
That’d be lunacy.
So why should anything else contain that shit then?
It shouldn’t.
Period.

On that note, trigger warning, this post ends now,
Take care, A.

Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,
A.

Viva la revolucion?

As you may or may not know, in this day and age you are dead to the world if you’re not social networking at some place.
That is especially true, and important, if you, like me, need to lure unsuspecting souls to your den where they’re…err…I mean, if you need to advertise your blog, and engange in conversations.

Well. This is the root of the problem for me. As you by now know, I am bad at advertising, and as you might have guessed, I suck at being social.
But that is not the point of this post.

This is about the social networking sites out there, and their flaws. So, shall we?

Facebook, the obvious contender, is swarming with a crapzillion people.
People of all coleur, age, sex and gender. Anti Vaxxers, Muslim terrorists, Christian proto Terrorists, and a crapton of idiots more. The “groups” are tacked on, treated like a wart, and not noteworthy. The app is less an app but more of a spy tool. Hastags suck on Facebook, as they were poorly ported from twitter.
“Facebook, our motto is: eat shit – 5 trillion flies can’t err.”

google+, although finally buzzing with life, it is not that well received. And it never will replace FB, why? Because it’s mandatory!
Wanna use YouTube? Google+
Wanna have a Birthday mural? Google+
People don’t like stuff that is mandatory. Even though this has groups, it stinks because of the mandatory nature. If school was optional, not mandatory, there’d be no bullies, kids would love it, and they’d learn. Think about that google, think about that….

Twitter, the site that made hastags popular! That is what I love about this. What I hate? THE BLEEDING CHARACTER LIMIT! Who came up with this shitty idea? I accept that the length of the message needs to be restricted, but the length that you’re giving us, is too friggin’ short!
Also, no groups.

Tumblr, why do you people hate groups?
Really, I’m flipping over this. Back on MySpace, bevore the revolutionaries castrated it, you had friggin groups. Public ones, private ones. What do the most popular sites have in that respect – nill. Facebook has tacked it on like a second head, google+ doesn’t know that group content should stay in the bloody group and not on my general timeline, twitter has nothing of the sort, and tumblr….oh….back on track

Tumblr, good for pictures, good for porn. There’s really not much else I can say about it.
Except maybe WHERE ARE GROU…search functions are good, and the tags can be followed.

LinkedIn, Frak this spooky shite!
Without giving that thing permission to search my contacts or anything, it suggests to me some teachers from my evening school.
So far, so scary, but good.
But then, out of no where, without me disclosing ANY details to my workplace, it suggests a member of the management team as a connection.

Frak no!

I am not working someplace where you could say it fits my interests. I’m working at my office because it brings me money.
Period. So how it got that information about me, I do not know.

Other than the spooky nature, it is a decent site. It has groups. Check. It has a search function. Check. It looks right, but feels wrong. At least to me.
Thank the gods for the use of an Alias!

Path, it’s funny you know? I could be classified as a hoarder. WordPress shows me that it can publicise to Path, I need to have path.
But there are issues I have with this. Search function, is well, hidden. Hashtags, unless you have those hashtags in your timeline, frak the hashtags. It says that there are no results. (And #comedy should be around somewhere. Right?) There is no desktop version of this crap. None. What so ever. So you have to use the app, and it looks & feels broken. Or unfinished. Anyone interested in connecting with me on Path? Just message me…I’m so lonely on Path…

VK, leave me alone. I do not want to give you my phone number. Sod off.
Besides, once you DO give up your number it is filled with Russians. So unless you can read Russian, this is no place to go.

MeWe, now here is a serious revolutionary.
A patient revolutionary.
Privacy, check.
Groups, check.
You can even set your profile for each group individually. Customisability, somewhat check. There is a search function and it is easy to grasp. The (android) app is sadly still in development, so the function to browse open groups is only available in web version, but hey. Good things take time. Unlike,

Tsū, which is a rushed, and now broken beyond repair, revolutionary.
The buzz was loud and far spread. People flocked to Tsū and it seemed as if the revolution against Fecesbook was finally taking place: Hashtags? Yes. Search function? Yes. Revenue back to the users as promised? Nope!
Only reposts; reposts of reposts of reposts got you some dough. Original content, which was supposed to be the shit on there – no money. What about group…frak it.
There’s still a few people and advertisers on there, but the masses have deserted, or defected, the “huge” revolution. Needless to say, I had joined the band wagon, for during the last revolution, I had stuck to the old, the losing side. Which brings me to,

MySpace, no. I’m not talking about the Capon that is left now after the Facebook revolution.
The old one.
The one where you had your blog, your groups, your friends, your friends newsfeed, your music, and 100% customisable profile all rolled into one.
THAT was dope. But then people left. Groups disappeared. Not the people of the groups until they faded into obscurity mind you, but the group function – poof. Gone. The revolution had struck: the king is dead, long live the king. Mark usurped Tom.
And why? Because we hate convenience (all in one), and like change (something shiny and new). We hate individualism (100% customisable profile on MySpace), and love conformity (back in the day not in the least customisable profile on FB; Not that the top image is that dope on customisability…).
What is left now is a poor haunting ghost of the former MySpace. The Logo is still there, but the rest – crap. And the app is matching the crappyness.

Well, you will see me around. On all of the above. If there are new ones, I will try them out, ad them to my collection of social networks.
Suggestions are always welcome, and connections as well. Have a nice one,
A.

PS: To give you an idea of how dead the revolutionary tsū is, here’s a screenshot:
image

If even the advertiser rats are leaving, it is a sure sign that the boat is not only sinking, but already sunk to rest next to the Titanic…

Shamelessness

Or: Why I suck at marketing

This is about my apparent inability to generate more views or followers for my blog. (Christmas Calendar not withstanding, that time was great, thank you people. Be prepared for X-Mess 2015!)

Let me get one thing out of the way before you shake your head in disgust and surf on: I’m not measuring my success with Likes or Followers.
They give me validation, yes.
But I get much more validation through views.

Why?

I read and watch a lot of stuff on the net, without handing out ‘likes’, yet I’ve read or watched it.
I even come back to read/watch more, culminating in me ‘following’.
This can go on for ages without me handing out a single ‘like’.
Views therefore mean much more to me than the occasional ‘likes’. (“You’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it!”)

This bit is about my apparent inability for shameless self-promotion.
In many groups I have joined online, no matter where (facebook, google+, MeWe, etc.) an Author hirself will show up and be like:

No_one-EvarHeardOf posted: From the acclaimed writer of the brilliant Theobald Quincy Cockburn-Hutzenbrutzen novels, the incandescentMy-Intestines-burn trilogy, comes the new bold part 1 of 5000, in the excitingly fiery series 51 shades of beige!

And I just can’t do that.
No one knows my name, no one gives a frak. So why would, or should, I pretend to be an ‘acclaimed writer’? (Or something similar)
Close to no one (except you brave souls who dare venturing to my blog when a new story part comes out) ever heard of my writings. So citing them as a reference – moot.

I just can’t lie boldly in the face of a potential audience, to garner their interest. If I were to get paid for this, I’d feel like I swindled someone out of their savings! Unlike money, the time, I would steal from my (potential) audience, can not be returned. So I have even greater reservations, from just going online and boldly claim shit, that I think is only true inside my head!

Pride in one’s accomplishments is completely justified, but if you’re a relatively unknown individual – do not assume a title like ‘acclaimed writer’, nor praise your own work as the greatest thing since the pyramids.
That makes you look like a complete Schmuck!

(And that, by the way, is why the Schmucks always get great view counts, good sales and great advertising cash, while most honest writers dwell in dirt, and their schmucky heirs later bathe in cash…or honest Schmoe turns into douchy Schmuck)

Yes, dear readers.
This is the reason why, if you came here following one of my ever repetitive social network posts, or discovered one of them, that post sounded sorta lame, and why there only will be equally lame posts.
I will not dash out there posting “From the fresh new writer yourstruly, comes the deeply philosophical, beloved story: Mr. Zed!”

“From the acclaimed writer of the philosophical Zombie Masterpiece Mr. Zed, here’s the highly brain tingling ‘Whose World’ series!”

Take care, and avoid the flyin bovine waste,
A.

PS: I think what bothers me almost as much as the airborne bovine waste distribution methods (aka Bullshit flyong around), is these people are talking in third person of themselves. Only royals (do I need to go there?) and crazy people do that. I ain’t crazy enough for that. (Yet!)

Look up…or not.

When ever new technology or a new idea was introduced into a society, it caused turmoil.

It caused “old school” folks to prophesy doom. Always!
Look it up. Broad writing and reading skills introduced? “Young people can’t memorize things anymore. Society will be ruined.”
New vehicles going faster than 30 km/h? “A human body can’t take that velocity (for long). We’re doomed!”
TV? “It kills imagination. Kids don’t go outside anymore.”

And while it is true that video killed the radiostar (Artist over Art), the majority of these fears were unjustified and unwarranted.

So why on earth do social media and smartphones/Tablets(/GoogleGlass?) ruin our society?
Easy. They don’t.

Yes, Facebook, google+ and other social networks aren’t the same as talking with your friends, acquaintances and relatives in real life. But you ARE interacting with another human being (somewhere)!
You might not know any of your bazillion friends personally, but you do know them sort of. You are interacting with (some of) them on a daily basis.
From some 50 years ago up until recently (and still) people sat in busses and trams and subways with newspapers, or books, not interacting with anyone.
Just reading.

I’m a book buff myself, but if you break it down, sitting in the subway and reading a book is more antisocial than sitting there Fecesbooking someone!
Before you are an antisocial asshole not noticing people around you or anywhere else other than inside your head, keep your head down on that little screen.

Young people have social interactions with peers.
Period.
You don’t have to mingle with some one you might know well, but don’t like their hobbies and views on things, just because they are your age group and in your class. You communicate with people you get along with well. And if they are half a globe away – so what?

The entire “You are antisocial” campaign is a money thing people. Shelf that shit right away as a passing trend. New technology, new trends, new ideas have always brought forth the ones who felt uncomfortable with it, or just couldn’t get it.

Some day down the road I too will say that this new shit will ruin our society, because, let’s face it people, I’m not getting any younger, and my comfort zone will be broken. When you get a digital lens that connects with the internet and allows you to be online 24/7 even in your sleep, I will opt-out. But my son, or my grandchildren, probably won’t.
Remember what our parents said about the new things we had as kids and teens? Right. Now think about your stance on the current technology.

Don’t let the fad of some people who want to seem edgy, cool and rebellious, while at the same time being conservative -ish fool you. Although you might have 4.000.621 friends on facebook, and not know a single one of them personally, you have contacts. You are NOT alone.
And if you feel down and blue, and in desperate need of personal interaction, there are people around you. Go to a pub, a sports event, there are colleagues and relatives.
It ain’t that hard, but don’t jump the train of stupid.

Take care, and talk to each other at least once in a while.
A.