Posts tagged ‘standards’

Life ain’t that hard, love.

Since I’ve been reading in the newspaper recently about a new “edgy” dating show on TV, where the single individual and the applicants to win her heart, are all blindfolded and kiss, so she can, in the end, select one of the kissers based on his “oral”skills, despite never having seen one of them nor knowing anything about their personality, I have decided to break out the old advice column.

Look people, finding love isn’t that hard, to find someone to date, follow these simple instructions:

♥”To know where you’re going, you must know where you come from.”, meaning: define your own fucking interests! Write that shit down if you have to. (For example: “I like wading through manure naked, bathing in swine intestines and reading racist manifestos of psychotoc mass murderers.”)
♥Your standards are not everything. If you are single for a considerably long time (5+ years, I’d say; a year and a half is a hiatus, not a drama) and you desperately want to change it, but can’t seem to find the right one, maybe the problem isn’t “them”, but you and your standards. Tweak them. (For example, if you are looking for a super nerdy Taylor Swift lookalike that is into fat older guys whose most romantic activity is taking long walks on the beach in warcraft, and could name every character ever in Star Trek, Star Wars and Dr.Who – give up.)
♥Now that you have your interests and tweaked standards ready, go out. Meet people (of your preferred gender) and talk to them. During online dating just make sure that you’re chatting with whom you think you are. (Video chats are a thing.)
♥Do not fuck right away! Sure before you eventually invest a ton of time in the other person, or even consider marriage, you want to know whether they are any good in bed. On the second or third date. For the first one the following applies: You can kiss, but no fucking.
That’s desperate, or cheap. Which brings me to…
♥”I’m running this monkey farm now Frankenstein, and I want to know what the fuck you’re doing with my time?!” Meaning, don’t waste everybody’s time. You need someone who has brains. Let’s be honest, the purchase and maintenance of a blowup(fuck)doll is cheaper in the long run, than supporting a bimbo (of any gender) that looks good, but is dumber than dog shit floating on piss, who is good for one thing, and one thing alone – intercourse.
♥Times goes by. Do not rush things. If you get pregnant right away, or married after a month or two of you two meeting – shit might hit the fan! Take your time!
♥Pink glasses – it may irritate you if a jaded old frak like me says this, but of you don’t have the pink glasses feeling, you ain’t in love. Additionally, once the pink glasses feeling fades away, and the shininess of the relationship has been replaced by the same old routine, and you still couldn’t live without the other person – congratulations! That, is love.

There. Fixed that problem before it could fester and give you an inflammation of the heart. One last thing: a healthy, stable relationship needs trust, effort and work. You’ll need to compromise on many things, and share both laughter and tears.

Addendum:
Now I know that none of these “dating shows” are real. They’re highly scripted mini series depicting people with various damages to their psyche. But the idea(l)s and themes they transplant into people’s heads are real, and the consequences are. 
Stop watching any of this gobshite.

Take care, A.

Advertisements

Entitlement to run amok?

I’m a loner.
I’m a nerd, and I’m pretty hard to tolerate sometimes. My wife can tell you that.

My manners are not the best, and my demeanor sometimes is – simply put – not tolerable.

I’m a nerdy, eccentric loner.

Yet, since my first relationship back in 2001 (I was 19) I never had big trouble finding girlfriends. The longest time I spent single between relationships was a bit over one and a half years.

I’m writing this in light of the recent shooting in Santa Barbara. Not so much as to diss the killer, which would be redundant as he is dead, but to tell you other loner guys out there: Don’t go on killing sprees!

I wouldn’t go as far as to call the killer a “mysagonist” (although it might be true), or someone who objectifies women. This has nothing to do with that.

It is this culture of “feeling entitled to something” that has caused this tragedy.

Of course, we can say it was the loose weapons laws in the US that are to blame. And we’d be right, to a certain degree. But if a crazed “feeling entitled to shit” idiot is determined to punish the world, he finds a way.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you guys (and gals?) out there: Alter you standards.
Not lowering them, but altering them. And ditch the mindset of being entitled to something.
Because you’re not.

You see people (even nerds eventually) in the media (Hollywood crap) that can get pretty much everything and every girl they want, and over time your mindset (“You haven’t lost, you’re just the last winner!”) got altered to being entitled to stuff.
This is bullshit.
You know what the second place is? The first loser!
Deal with it.
Accept your defeat and move on. Don’t stick to your feeling of entitlement like wallpaper to a wall. Peel of the paint of bullshit that they have coated you with and move the frak on!

If the blond, highmaintenance, high attitude girls aren’t into you – move past that type of girls! You aren’t entitled to that kind of girlfriend, the women/girls aren’t obligated to become your girlfriend. Let me hit you with “the brick of logic and reason ” to get that crap out of you: If these girls were obligated to become your GFs because you are entitled to, you’d be obligated to become the BF of some hunchback, one eyed chick that scares the crap out of you, because she’s entitled to too!
Your entitlement ends where the liberty of someone else begins. (That’s pretty much a milimeter above your skin’s surface, or less.)

If it wouldn’t have been the girls that drove this virin to madness it would’ve been the job market. Because he felt entitled, and with a mindset like that he would’ve blamed the companies he sent applications to for his failure in getting a job.
And again, a killing spree.

We need to educate our children, youngsters and apparently our twens (Don’t get me started on “Young Adults”) that such a thing as “entitlement” doesn’t exist. Never has, never will.

The world doesn’t owe you anything! Mankind owe’s you nothing!
Your enttitlement doesn’t exist, whether it’s girls/boys, jobs, houses, cars etc.

And to you loners, you eccentrics, you nerds and geeks, you crazy people: There is no one obligated to you, period. Find someone in your niche if the rest of the soceity doesn’t work out for you. Apply for jobs “below” your degree, or in another field. Get a crappy or just a different car, it get’s you from A to B. Get an apartment (or different house!) if you can’t get a house, or your dream house. And so on.

In general terms: Don’t pin your hopes and dreams, your wholesomeness on others. You, you alone, are the one responsible for your happiness.
If YOU can’t find a partner, YOU might be the problem. And I’m not saying you are too “low” for them, but just not their type. Go for a different kind of girl.
You’re standing in your own way, ALTER your standards. It’s not other peoples faults! Either you meet their criteria, or you don’t.
And if those whose standards you meet, don’t meet YOUR standards – YOU are keeping yourself from being happy.

Addendum:
If you have shitloads of money to spend on (semi automatic) guns and insane amounts of ammo – save that cash up and get yourself some time with a prostitute.
Let of some steam, while helping a woman pay her kids through college, and prevent deaths – all at the same time!
Everyone is happy, no one is dead and no one has to die.
Including you.

All in all, alter your standards, ditch your feeling of entitlement, and stay safe and (semi-)sane. Apply for different jobs, try/buy other cars, buy a different house (and MAKE it your dream house), try to find a different sort of girls that are into you, etc.
Take care and LLAP,
A.