Posts tagged ‘stevia’

Life ain’t that hard, stuff-free stuff

Short and simple this time.

-If you can’t process lactose, stay the frak away from milk. Leave milk alone, use soy juice or coconut juice, and don’t you dare call any of it “milk”.
-If you can’t handle gluten, don’t eat it, but don’t substract gluten from stuff.
-The same goes for low-carb! Don’t eat carbohydrates if you don’t wanna, but leave them where they belong.
-If you need to drive, don’t drink. If you order an alcohol free beer – you better get drunk instead.
-If you don’t want to ingest sugar, fracking don’t. Live with the health conscious choice you made and do not use other stuff for substitute.
-Same for vegans. Conscious choice, deal with it. But don’t play with your soypaste and build yourself a fake steak. You want a sausage, either have sex, or get a real one.
-You want coffee? Drink coffee. You don’t want caffeine? Don’t drink coffee. The end.

In even shorter form: Can’t, or don’t want to, handle it? Live with it.

Stop over-complicating things. Stop cluttering the world with your filthy useless garbage! Otherwise we will soon have joyless joy, sexfree sex and playfree playtime.
Life ain’t that hard, stop taking things out of stuff where they belong in.

Take care,
A.

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To my jogging neighbors…

You want to lead a healthier lifestyle than the average Joe and keep fit?
Good! Here are some easy to follow suggestions to do just that:

– Shut your fucking piehole! Don’t tell people uninvited about your workout regime or diet. No one cares!

– Get off that bicycle! I know riding the bike is the new shit but honestly it isn’t. Bicyclists are a menace and they should be dealt with as a menace, Run over pedestrians, dogs, kids, they cause  accidents and clutter up the streets. So, don’t.

– You want to live healthier? Then stop jogging on tarmac sidewalks, in innercity districts! If you continue this for 12 to 20 years, your joints will be crap! And if I were to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and you jog for an hour a day I’m healthier after 20 years!! So, stop jogging!

– Keep your Soy crap! No one gives a shit about tofu and soy juice! So if you going veg eat or even vegan that’s nice but keep it to yourself. And don’t even get me started on stevia! If you want something to be sweet, use sugar, if you don’t like sugar, don’t sweeten it! It’s like caffeine free coffee and alcohol free beer: Joyless fun!

I’m certain, if you follow the suggestions, your health will either improve or at least be safe from harm by your fellow human beings