Posts tagged ‘sugar’

Shopping confusion

I don’t mean to nitpick (actually, yes, I do, I love that), but doesn’t that mean that the stuff you wanted out, is actually still in?

Free from: Gluten, oh wait, no that’s still in, hmm strike through; Soy, uhm no… that’s also still in, strike through; etc.

I know what they’re going for here, but all you achieve is confusion. Packaging and marketing, FAIL.

This is marketing an inferior product to gullible idiots.

Take care, A.

Mommy blogs!

Or joint parent blogs.

I have never indulged in the activity of reading these insipid, driveling wastes of insignificantly minute storage space on the net.
First off, I’m not the target audience – a mom, and secondly these blogs almost never have any value.

You’re not gaining some new insight on how to “parent”, that you didn’t get from being one, or having one. There is not enough substance to these vapid excuses of brain leakage, that would permit wasting time on reading them. Or just one.
Same goes for 99% of these so called “parenting magazines”, with articles so empty you are left to wonder why these sniffling shits aren’t writing speeches for politicians.
If it weren’t for product testing – including lab tests for hazardous materials – these magazines would be worth less than ink and paper, separately, used to make this glossy kindling.
I digress.

Mommy (b)logs are used by the mommy bloggers to make the simplest most mundane task look like a deed more heroic than the deeds of all Marvel and DC superheroes combined.
Mommy dearest breastfeeds her baby despite it being four and will continue to do so, until the kid enrolls in college. She carries the child in a sling, although her shoulders are bleeding, claiming “her indigo crystal child needs the intimacy, closeness and prolonged bonding,” although the brat is clearly old enough to fracking walk, or even go on prolonged hikes.
Great job.

Vegan, gluten-, lactose-, sugar-, and fat-free is an added “burden”, because it creates a (selfimposed) martyrdom to raise a child this way, with relatives and friends and doctors(!) telling them that it is absolute BS.

Adding to that, they hallow their “parenting” (and thus themselves) even more, if they are absolute nutjobs who think science and medicine are evil and thus they raise desease ridden, virii spreading little snotballs who run from vaccines and pills like they stole something.
But hey, they raise kids who are “all natural”. (Despite humans being omnivores, not herbivores, and our very existence outside of Africa is unnatural, but that’s not the issue here.)

That’s another staple of mommy bloggers.
The absolute glorification of the natural, and nature, ignoring the cold, logical, harsh and mindblowing truth that EVERYTHING is perfectly natural, unless some shit comes oozing into this universe through some rift in the space-time continuum.

But these narcissistic, ego driven, professional parents and breeders probably have lactated away all the brain cells necessary for rational and coherent thought, thats why all these blogs (or magazines) are shallow, pitifully dumb, meaningless drivel. People who read or write mommy blogs are people who have picture frames with the words “Friends”, “Family” and especially “Selfies” at home. For this is just another of the “Give me attention, because I am” cases, like the Selfie-people .

If you ever happen to strand on a Mommyblog, take it for what it is, snot. If you stare at the screen for too long thinking that a deeper meaning would peel out of this mindless conglomeration of letters and words, your eyes will roll back in your skull and they will find you, once your bills go unpaid, as a half rotten corpse in front of a computer that burned down in self pity.

Take care, and don’t read mommy blogs, they are an insult on the very words making them up (“mommy” and “blog”), as sell as an insult to anyone thinking.
A.

Life ain’t that hard, stuff-free stuff

Short and simple this time.

-If you can’t process lactose, stay the frak away from milk. Leave milk alone, use soy juice or coconut juice, and don’t you dare call any of it “milk”.
-If you can’t handle gluten, don’t eat it, but don’t substract gluten from stuff.
-The same goes for low-carb! Don’t eat carbohydrates if you don’t wanna, but leave them where they belong.
-If you need to drive, don’t drink. If you order an alcohol free beer – you better get drunk instead.
-If you don’t want to ingest sugar, fracking don’t. Live with the health conscious choice you made and do not use other stuff for substitute.
-Same for vegans. Conscious choice, deal with it. But don’t play with your soypaste and build yourself a fake steak. You want a sausage, either have sex, or get a real one.
-You want coffee? Drink coffee. You don’t want caffeine? Don’t drink coffee. The end.

In even shorter form: Can’t, or don’t want to, handle it? Live with it.

Stop over-complicating things. Stop cluttering the world with your filthy useless garbage! Otherwise we will soon have joyless joy, sexfree sex and playfree playtime.
Life ain’t that hard, stop taking things out of stuff where they belong in.

Take care,
A.