Posts tagged ‘supermarket’

What in the blazes?

I need to share this with you bcause if I wouldn’t, my wife would find me tomorrow with my head caved in, eyes rolled into the back of my skull, my brain, in attmept to flee these thoughts, is then dangling out of my nose, and all because of this shit!

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《 Oh the wondrous discoveries of grocery shopping. (f.l.t.r.: apricot-dumpling JUICE, applestrudle JUICE, basil seeds drink [rosepedal-cherry flavor], chia seeds drink [lime-ginger “flavor”])》

What is this stuff used for? Summoning demons in some weird vegan witch circle?
Is it used to mind control people, some weird MK Ultra?
Did they really mix/press/mush chia/basil seeds?
Why?
Does this attract aliens? Or repel sasquatsh?

Did they honestly cook apricot dumplings, throw them in a power juicer and filled the result in bottles? Same with applestrudle.
Do they want to pump this through the embalmed remains of the emperor in the hopes of raising an applestrudle-vampire? And empress Elisabeth as an apricot-dumpling banshee?
If so, why?

Can it kill Werewolves? Or make the undead accept you as one of their own? Will you be able to communicate with ghosts once you consume all four?
Does this make a cocktail that can cure the common cold? Cancer? Will it make the four (or five) horsemen appear?
Will Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses appear, holding hands wishing for peace on earth, if you pour these four liquids in one spot?

Is this catering to hipsters, or dangerously deranged lunatics who should be put on watch lists if they purchase this? What kind of deranged juicers are considering this? Is this the effect of, and not the cause for, hell opening up?

These four products are the dumbest, most brain-inflammatory, aneurysm inducing things I have seen in a regular supermarket.
Especially stuff that says ‘Superfood’ on it…

Anyhow, thank you letting me share my otherwise lethal brainspasm, induced by illegally stupid crap.

Take care,
A.

Empty bottles

Harkening back to the good ol’ parent-teacher conference, and the burning issue of the filling status of the waterbottle, I saw such an empty bottle today.
And her husband. And their three daughters.

But one thing at a time.

We went to the supermarket, just entering the parking lot, an Audi A6 stops dead in his tracks just in front of us, hindering us to reach a suitable spot to park our car.

Admitted, the place looked desolate, due to construction work being done on it, but a giant; HUUGE banner above the door told visitors in three simple words “Open despite Renovations” (in german “Offen trotz Umbau”), in all capital letters, the sign told from afar that they’re inindeed open.
So the car blocked us, and then the shotgun side opens, a woman – type: former UdSSR mail order bride, twenty years later – leaves. She walks up to the door, which is well lit, and people are in there. She enters, looks at the carts, at the register, at the people, then turns around and nods with a glad smile.
Now the car parks, now I see the driver. Type: guy who bought a broad from the former UdSSR twenty years ago.
I try to calm myself, maybe they both can’t read/speak german, despite their local registration plate. (It happens, more often than you think)
Oh, wait, they have HOW many girls between 6 and 8? Three? One of them ought to be able to read that three word sentence above the door…

Later I hear him talk at the regoster with the cashier. He is from around here. He is a native. His natove language IS the same as the sign/banner above the door. This is the kind of parent that asks about the bottle three times. The kind that writes down even the most mundane basic shit, and STILL gets everything wrong.

I saw an empty bottle today. Five of them in fact…

The Organic Farm

Well, they had a party and an open invitation at a “local” organic farm.

So we went there.

If I disliked “organic” before, I officially hate that crap now.

Basic semantics aside (EVERYTHING is organic/biological, if it weren’t, it would’ve oozed into our reality from some other universe) I believe i cracked their secret.

Class A goods (for example Apples) are sent off to stores as normal goods.
B grade and less qualified products are covered in dirt and grime, called “organic”, and sold for a fortune! Although it’s just the regular crap, just slightly less A grade.

Thanks to an Ex of mine I know how pork tastes sometimes.
As a city boy I knew pork only as what most of us know it. But if you buy the cheap pork, you have a certain “porky” flavour to it.
Here my Ex comes into the picture.
She was living in the country side and we occassionally drove by pig farms. You know that porky flavor?
IT’S PIG SHIT!
That’s the intense, rural, porky flavor.

I had a pork Schnitzel at the organic farm. Guess what taste was coming through? Right…ORGANIC. Expensive, organic porky, rural, pig shit flavor you get from cheap pork.

Now I also know that I fracking hate hippies!

I agree on their ideals, on the philosophy – but I’d like to strangle them in public!

“Yes, uhm Lemonaid lenonade please.” *barkeep gets it to her* *takes a sip* “This is carbonated! ”
“Yes, it’s lenonade!”
*returns 20 seconds later* “do you have a non refrigerated one, this one’s too cold.”
“Sorry ma’am, they’re stored cold and brought here to be on display in the fridge.”
I would’ve told her to hold it in her hands to warm it up, shake the damn bottle to get rid of the carbon acid, but that would involve “animal” labour, so it wouldn’t be vegan…besides, this crazy nut hat a Ché Guevara face ironed/sewn to the back of her jacket, over her shoulderblade, right where the strap of her bag was tearing on it.
So she is in support of a man who ordered executions on people who did not share his ideals, who ordered non-revolutionary workers to do hard labor in a camp?
Or more likely she’s anti establishment, but doesn’t know jackshit about Ché. Or only the good bits.

Speaking of anti establishment.
You organic nutjobs – you created an INDUSTRY. It is not organic anymore if it has to be driven cross country. The carbon foot print the so called “organic” shit leaves behind is so big that all organic-ness is fading away.
It isn’t possibly organic, if the interests of an INDUSTRY are at stake.

You want organic food?
Farm it!
You can’t, but want it? Find someone who DOES farm it! No, not the supermarket, again, not organic: just the regular shit, covered in dirt.
I mean like a friend. Or a small local farmer.
But not an industry.

Next up, in line at the organic supermarket on site, I see a stand from some woman who looks like she hadn’t seen fun since 1969, and on display, amongst other “goods”, was a DVD:

“We’re not vaccinating!” – well good. I hope you’re going to catch every disease there is a vaccine against. You, your spouse and your kid(s), whom you try and “protect” from poisoning due to vaccination…YOU DIM WITTED BAFOONS!

Don’t any of you dare and say that your kids didn’t get sick. Just DON’T!
There are only vaccinated people around your kid, including you, where should your kid get an infection from? Yes we need the vaccinations to KEEP the current level of infection free societies. Or even to eradicate certain diseases all to gether.
BTW: Vaccines aren’t antibiotics. In NO current vaccine is mercury an ingredient. Vaccines DO NOT cause autism, seizures, cancer, leukaemia or anything else.
Maybe a little fever. Not more.

Your kid is in special school, because your kid has always been that way, not because vaccinations brain damaged your kid.
Period.

If you believe any of the anti-vaccination propaganda, your fault. If you spread it, I believe you deserve to be beaten. If you then say “You people who vaccinate don’t love you children, because you inject them with poison!” I believe we can take custody of your kids away AND beat you.
We love our children and we give them vaccinations BECAUSE we love them. No illnesses should harm our kids. We do not believe in voodoo shit saving our kids from weird viruses.
Look, incense does not ward off viruses, weed helps in pain relief and some other stuff, but not in cases we have vaccines against.
They finally got an ebola vaccination.
If ebola was around you, would you refuse that vaccination too because it is poison?

One final thing about that. (And I know I piss off a lot of people with this, including friends of mine) If ANYONE tries to tell you ebola and aids are lies and they are only sideffects of vaccinations – lunacy. If someone says that ebola and HIV are developed viruses from some (US)lab – plausible.
Stupid and paranoid, but at least plausible.

No. Stop resisting, and show that you love your kids, and get them vaccinated against all the diseases that might end their lives or cause them misery (measels, rota, mumps, small pocks, and so fracking on).

Conclusions:
No more organic farms for me.
No organic lies for me.
No hippies around me.
Take care, peace!
A.