Posts tagged ‘Tits’

The final nail in the coffin…

You don’t? I do. Because they’re shit. They do nothing for you, they don’t create “awareness”, they just look idiotic. Note to the guys: Combat feminist. She’ll neuter you with those slings. Run!

But this “individual” (in quotation marks because I don’t want to imply this is a sane person) isn’t alone in her abuse of taste. 


Hottest trend? HOTTEST TREND?? I would refer you to a doctor to get that nasty fungus treated if you showed up with this crap in my vicinity! 

Note to the guys: desperate man trap, or (criminally) insane. Run!


The fidget spinner trend seems to die down finally. Anyone with this crap on their nails wouldn’t be able to use a spinner anyway, plus they would look a proper fool. Note to the guys: if a girl (abd it wouldn’t be a woman) had those nails – jail. Too young to be legal, or mentally handicapped to the point where her consent doesn’t count. Run!
Hope this had been informal and entertaining. 

Take care, A.

Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,
A.

Faces of feces (Politics pt.2 & Advertising pt.2)

In the last years I have noticed a trend that had been going on for a long time.

People over Program

Are we as a society really that shallow? How could we allow to sink this low?
No matter what you are advertising for, even of it is for toilet-bowl-scrubber-bots, we sho PEOPLE instead of the PRODUCT. Happily smiling families, scantly dressed women, yes. A flash of the product, back to the people.
Maybe it’s a (scantly dressed) celebrity instead of a family/scantly dressed woman – still one we want to see.

It has become the same issue with politics, we have celebrities or people, advertising for parties. We have interrest in the candidates, instead of the party program.
Hitler was non smoker, barely meat eating, barely drinking alcohol war hero – think before you cast your vote.
Who cares if the candidate is living a healthy life? Is god fearing or an atheist?
Or whether they are attractive?? What are their stands on the issues? What their plans for the economy? The foreign policies?
Look at the political advertising posters from the 1950s and compare them with todays.

Issues vs. Faces.
While in the 50s they would have promised toilet-bowl-scrubber-bots, they would show it to us today.

While I know that the stands on the issues are as trustworthy as the fake smile, and photoshopped politicians heads – but I’d rather cast my vote based on what they told me, than on how nice they look and how often they pray to a space zombie.

Sadly we have an election coming up in the fall of this year, which means from around mid summer on I will be bombarded with non-slogans and smiles more fake than Lolo Ferrari’s tits.

Stay away from Austria at that time, they’re going wild then…

A.