Posts tagged ‘toilet’

LATH Hand washing

Recently they exchanged the old soap dispenser in our office.

Instead of the sleek old one, where you pulled the lever to get some soap out, we now have one to push and it squirts out some foam.

So far, so shitty.

But. Apparently they think we’ve gotten so dumb from computer virus infections WE got, that we don’t know how to wash our hands anymore, or as if we haven’t been taught in preschool and/or by our (grand)parents.

No. We stupid keyboard monkeys need PICTOGRAMS to show us!

Listen, life really ain’t that hard: soap, hands, rub, rinse. Unless you’re a surgeon, then it’s more complicated, but for the rest of us, this’ll do.

If you have any defense for the pictogram soap dispenser, keep it in a dark orifice of your body.
Grown people, working at an office, shouldn’t need this.
People who are old enough to make financial decisions/transactions at a mall, shouldn’t need this.
No-one who is old enough to go to the restroom alone, should have need of this!

But in light of recent news stories, SJW issues, election results, and the overall state the western world is in, I guess these pictograms don’t penetrate far enough in our society…

Take care,
A.

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Life as a knight is not easy you know?

Sure, on occasion you can chill out under the blueberries on occasion.

But the rest of the time?
There’s other knights.

There’s the black duckling of the hidden brown water Loch.

The giant coo of radiator grill.

The unmelting Snømån of the wooden plains.

Complimentary Newspaper…

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Flipping through a complimentary newspaper on a Sunday is a fun adventure sometimes.

THIS is the winner of the 2012 interior innovation award.

The WINNER.

Two things here.
A. What repulsive pieces of trash were submitted, but rejected?
B. The flowchart of tastelessness is as follows:
1. the people who designed this. As we are in the 21st century, I have to assume it was not just ONE person, but a conglomerate of people. Probably some studio or “bureau” of “artists”…
2. the folks who approved of this “design” and gave a green light for production, ignoring the malignent tumors forming on their cornea.
3. advertising department “people” calling this ensemble of poles and barrs innovative,  and entering the design into a contest.
4. the committee awarding the IIA to this piece.
5. the degenerates in the press who decided to print (and praise) this with terms like “Design-Highlight”.
Four years later.
Maybe 6. people who read this, and went out to waste their money on some metal and “polystone”, just to have a nifty new holding aparatus for the material they wipe shit from their asses with…

Crappy Birthday in September

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This is the perfect gift for people who overcomplicate everything, including and especially taking a dump.

If your victimfriend likes the feeling of warm toilet seats (aka touching asses) and has to crap in a badly heated glass box so a feet warmer and discreet panel illumination are just their thing, and they like to s(h)it for hours on the bog listening to music, getting their buttholes (or in case of female friends, their vaginas) massaged by an oscillating/pulsating bidet stream – go for it.

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6,650.00$ is a price readily paid to give someone you hatelove the displeasure of this square-ish toilet.

Just ask in advance if the bog is e-mailing or twittering the times and durations, as well as chosen bidet programs for each individual user. The world has, after all, a right to know.

Have a crappy birthday, quite literally,
A.

Passive aggressive Kitty

Someome, somewhere, harbours a hatred for Hello Kitty with a ferocity of a pschotic maniac, yet the restraints of intellect like any civilised person.

That person obviously is in charge of handling the licensing of Hello Kitty products.

How do I know? Well, some time ago I stumbled upon this item here.
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Hello Kitty Babypowder scented kitty litter, although Hello Kitty isn’t a cat, someone gave the license away so real felines can defecate in it.

Odd, slightly annoying and certainly not for real cats, despite the claims on the box.
But at that point in time, okay.

Then I came upon this.
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Hello Kitty toilet paper.

So real people could wipe the remains of feces away with it.

The passive aggressive hatred towards Hello Kitty that is displayed with these two products (especially in combination), speaks volumes after volumes.

My question is, who on this earth (or in that company) is dumb enough to let the one individual on the planet that hates Hello Kitty that much, handle the licensing?
Whats next?
Hello Kitty – Laxatives?
Hello Kitty – Portable Toilets?
Hello Kitty – Nuclear Missiles?

In any case, I’m looking forward to more of these insane products. Keep your eyes open for the Crappy Birthdays.

Take care,
A.

What the Jizz?

Let me introduce you to my dilemma:

At the office we have a restroom for men and one for women. So far, so good.
As a male, you enter the restroom and find yourself in the room with the sink, through a not lockable door you get to the urinal, next to which the lockable stall is located. So far, so sill good.

Now, I could tolerate cum in the normal toilet. I’d be grosed out, and probably set my disinfectant on fire on top of normally just spraying, but I could tolerate it.
I even could understand to a certain degree.

But Jizz in the urinal??? With two doors in your back THAT CAN’T BE LOCKED??
Everytime footsteps draw near my heart would stop and my erection would wither away in the position of that guy. But repeatedly I now saw cum in the urinal!
What kind of speed-jerk-off is that guy?
Jesus Banana waxing Christ!

All the thrill-seeking-jack-off action aside, I’m still hung up on the speed that dude has to have! What is he? An android?
“Ratatatatatatata done!”?? O.o
Is he on steroids? Speed?

Despite that – YUCK! Use some toilet paper, and do it in the stall, you filthy animal.
I hope the speedwanker washes his hands afterwards. *shudder*

Take care, use disinfectant, and watch out people, (us) men are disgusting…
A.