Posts tagged ‘train’

Prohibited

My city’s public transportation has issued a prohibition on food in the subway, after a series of complaints about the smell.

There are two things about this that piss me off.
1. That this rule has to be made. Not so long ago it had been common courtesy not to eat (smelly) foods in the subway (trams or busses). Now it needs to be enforced. But hey, it had also been courtesy once to let people get out of the car before going in, soooo…
2. People are reacting as if the public transportation company forbade them to eat PERIOD. There are people and outlets acting as if now commuters would have to starve to death! If your daily intake of calories depends on your commute, you’re in more serious trouble then a prohibition on food in the subway.
Now. Stuff that food away, clear the doors, enter, go.

Take care,

A.

Life ain’t that hard, public transportation

You know what would make the daily commute a real treat? Less of any…

Riding the bus, or anything else public transport, isn’t exactly complicated, it’s fairly easy.  But all the while people have trouble with it, so to make it all a little less shitty, a little less smelly, a lot less noisy and overal a little bit nicer, here it is, simply read and remember (or print out):

☆Beforehand: Take a shower, or use deodorant. But do not bathe in cologne/perfume! Do not apply any of this stuff at the public transport of choice
☆Beforehand: Brush your teeth, or get a strong gum. Do not use strawberry toothpaste, or brush your teeth in public transportation!
☆Food isn’t sold or served in the vehicles, so don’t eat there! You’re not a Hobbit.
★It’s not a restroom, so don’t shit, piss or, if possible, vomit here! And don’t change your tampon either!
☆This ain’t a watering hole, get drunk elsewhere.
☆Earphones yes, Speakers no. No one cares for your shitty taste in what you wrongly call “music”.
☆This ain’t a phone booth, if you get a call, tell them you’re busy, don’t call anyone. If everyone did it, the noise would be unbelievable.
☆This is not a Singles Bar, stop hitting on people!
☆Do. Not. Fuck. There! Seriously, does this need an explanation? (This includes dry humping.)
☆Old, pregnant, handicapped people with infants get your seat if you are NOT in any one of these categories.
Doors. Nuff said.
☆Don’t deal with or consume drugs in the public transport, or adjacent places.
☆Busses, Trains, etc. are not a stage for you aspiring ‘musicians’, they’re not the catwalk for all you pretend ‘models’ and they’re not a good photo op. Got it? Good.
☆Unless you need help (heart attack, etc.) or help (lost) or help (getting mugged/groped/etc.) DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS
☆Throw garbage into litter bins, especially chewing gum! Don’t you get my butt stuck to the seat.
☆Don’t fight. This isn’t your territory, it isn’t contested. It belongs to the government/transportation company.
☆If you are with one or more friend/s keep your conversation at a low volume, if you’re deaf – learn sign language.
☆Old people, well into retirement, this one’s for you: During rush hour, stay wherever you are, but stay away from public transport. Same with women who have small children.
★Bicycles, don’t bring them here. Seriously, be a nuisance elsewhere, but don’t come here with your thing (soon!)
★Escalators and Elevators, holy crap, we really have to explain these too? Okay, soon…
☆Take your feet off the seats, take your bags of the seats. Or else some of hour fellow commuters might become hostile.
☆This ain’t your bed, so do not lie across two (or more) seats. Your options are: sitting and standing.
Or you can walk.

See? A concise list, easily committed to memory, a small print out.
Or, as I would call it “COMMON FRACKING SENSE”.

Take care, and
☆Get a friggin ticket before taking the ride. No bullshitting your way out of it!

A.

Life ain’t that hard, break it up!

Look people, we are all adults here, some of us partially educated, which is why I find it more disturbing than I am willing to admit, that door etiquette is an alien concept to so many.

As usual,  it really is simple, follow this procedure:
•if people want to exit a/n train/tram/bus/ferry/elevator/store/etc. while
•you want to enter it,
•you step aside,
•let them leave,
•then you enter.

There is no deviation from this procedure.
None.
Not if your elderly, pregnant and especially if you have some little gremlin on or around you, who should be raised with some proper door mannerism.

Regardless of your ethnicity, gender, gender identity, religion, sexuality, age, etc. – if you block the way of exiting people, or worse, enter while others are leaving, or before others have exited – you’re a jerk, and you deserve to be tackled as if this was american football!

For frak’s sake, people, print this, and hand it to people who you just tackled to the ground. Makenot your daily ritual of reading this before you leave the house, stick it to your front door, so you’ll read it before leaving.
Just stop standing in front pf the doors, or running into people who are leaving.

Life really is not that hard. Now break it up, that group of yours has to split apart down the middle, so people can exit the vehicle/elevator/store and you can enter right after…

A.

Travelplans anyone?

An acquaintance of mine recently posted something that pissed me off.

Okay, many things piss me really off, and a lot of it comes from friends and acquaintances. But this one in particular. No it’s not some “Anti vaccination” crap, that drives me into psychotic hatred, no comment there. I hate this shit, and I won’t comment on it, other than I hope these people will be shamed to the ground.
Period.

“Boarding an airplane would go a lot faster, if window seats would get in first.”

Apparently some schmucks sat down and did a study on this, fairly simple, topic.
WHO, THE FRAK, CARES?

We don’t need tips on how to board an airplane, we need plans on how to cut down on airtravel all together!

A group of people sits in a friggin metal tube that is propelled through the air by burning crazy amounts of dead dinosaur age plankton. Who cares how to get into that tube faster? You are pissing in the face of chance, nature and luck, and you worry that a few minutes might get shaved off if you follow a certain order when getting into that tube?
You are friggin pricks, people.

Aviation is the cause of some of our greatest troubles, sure goods can get transported faster, to exotic locations. Armies, doctors, relief, or refugees can be brought in and out of desaster zones.
Good.
Boarding an airplane for recreational travels – kiss my schlong!
You are poluting the atmosphere, increasing your carbon footprint by a thousandfold, just so you can tweet from the beach – a task you could as easily have done from the public swimming pool in your area. With the same sun shining down on you, the same crying, shouting children and parents. The same stench of cheap frying fat and ketchup.

No, you needed to make the lives of some other place’s people more miserable by acting like royalty in some resort, someplace “exotic”. And you barely leave that resort, to see the ACTUAL culture, landscape, etc.
No. You people just lie at the beach or the resort pool. Sizzling in the sun like ugly bacon.

As a society we have derailed from efficiency to convenience.
Thanks in part to aviation, entire nations economies are based on tourism, therefore relying on the general climate, sudden weather, tourist moods and so on. Instead of basing a country’s entire economy on agrar culture, depending only on the weather.

No snow in winter, too warm even for snow canons, no tourists. No spa in your skiing logde? Bad reviews, hence no tourists.
An oiltanker decides to land on a riff twenty nautic miles “upstream”? Good bye beaches, good bye tourists. Tsunami washing away your coastline? Gooooood bye tourism.
A volcano blowing up ash in the air grounding half a continent’s commercial airplanes? Arividerci tourists! And economy.

Not only commercial aviation, but tourism in general are too unstable to rely on. Too idiotic to base your life upon it.

Get you fraking act together and use the train, if isn’t burning anything to move that is, and maybe look out the window. There is so much to see, to just pass it over in a tube, too far away to tell if it is a wonderful scenery or boring grass land.

Boarding an airplane would be faster if you quit flying.
Sit in a train, see the landscape, have several stops in various stations to see changes in architecture and culture. TRAVEL IS GOOD! Airtravel is bad.

Hope you have a nice trip where every you may go. However you may go there.

A.

Amok egoism…

… I may not be Mr. Considerate myself, but I have gotten a reasonable amount of social competence from my mother, enough as to not being a tital prick.

Why am I writing this? At the time I write these lines, I was standing in a train, happily typing away on part four of act 3 of “Whose World” when the egoism around me, runs me over! First there is this little shit that stood just right in front of the door of the train, people were not able to exit it faster because of him. Just so Shitty McShitpants could get a seat.
Good work asshole!

Then the douchebag “I am important, Motherfucker” shows up and hangs his bag (a travelbag) on the handrail of the cab, so the starway is half blocked. I wished someone had tripped over it and sued that sunshaded prick for damages.
Asshat.

Idiot leaves with his bag, cue intro Twatty O’Twat, also known as the Onioncunt!
It should be prohibited under highprized penalties to enter any public transport with smelly food! Like in this case Onion Pizza. Happily munching away ger pseudo Italian cuisine she positioned her cart like bag – guess where – right, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING STAIRS!! Later it fell over blocking all of it!

Which reminds me: no cart bags! You aren’t going on a trip? You aren’t shopping? Forget the wheeled bag!
Get a backpack, pack light or heavy, go.
Get a bag, pack light, go.
Get a cart, you better be shopping!

You know how irked I gotta be to stop writing?
Very.

Now if the selfcentered egomaniacs continue to show up in the bus, I’m going to turn violent… (how can people wonder why some people actually go on killingsprees?)

A.