Posts tagged ‘urine’

Life ain’t that hard, drinking!

No, not that kind of drinking.
The one that doesn’t involve alcohol.

If you’re like me, then the suggested, supposedly “healthy”, dose of at least 2 liters of water per day is an unbearble summer reading assignment, equal to having to read war and peace over the weekend and write a paper on it.

Look, life ain’t that hard, in order to keep “hydrated” and healthy, just follow this simple guideline:
1. Nature blessed us with a sense that alerts us if we need to drink: THIRST! If you’re thirsty, drink. If not, don’t pump more stuff in. If that results in 0.5 liters a day, that’s fine, your body seems to not need any more.
2. The urban legend of coffee (or caffeinated drink) dehydrating the body keeps getting passed around like a nasty STD. Were it to be true, I would look like a desert mummy from the Andes! I don’t. I’m healthy and alive. So keep drinking it, even to quench your thirst.
3. Once your piss starts to be colourless, stop drinking so much. You’re not a fountain.

There. A concise list on how to drink healthily.

If by any chance you give in to the pressure and give this shit of drinking at least 2 litres of non-alcoholic and non-caffeinated stuff a try, and then someone asks you, after a week, whether you feel any better – piss on them.
That’s the only feeling that I have, since starting this trial run: the urge to pee every fifteen minutes.

Take care,
A.

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Picture time

Champagne

Champagne

Working near the nobler parts of town has its upsides. Instead of empty beer bottles, vomit and urin, we have empty champagne bottles, vomit and urin.
A scene develops in my mind here: two lads in tuxedos stagger around the sidewalk, sipping each from their respective bottles. Instead of sports club scarves they have silken scarves! And instead of yelling at people “Who U lookin’ at, stupid fag?!” They shout “What doth thine eyes watcheth,  intelligence allergic gender confused individual?!”…

 

Batman?

Who can stop you?

“Who can stop you?” – Every time I see it, I wish for a spray can, because I have the perfect answer to that question: Batman!
😉