Posts tagged ‘Vegan’

Consumer protection done (almost) right…

As reaction to:
https://futurism.com/missouris-meat-law/

Missouri passed a law that prohibits the use of the term “meat” for anything that didn’t come from an animal.

Which is great!

If it isn’t meat, don’t call it meat!

If it is plums, you wouldn’t call it apples, now would you?
(Side rant: Why are these fucking cretins in the vegan crowd bitching and moaning about Trumps ‘Alternative Facts’, whilst living with alternative facts of their own? I don’t get it!)

It is that simple. idgf what you call it, but it is false labeling, more accurately, consumer fraud if you call Not-meat, meat.

It is this entire false labeling crap that must end:
It is soy juice, almond drink, grain water. Be honest.

It is NOT milk, nor is that other shit meat. Not even a convincing approximation.

You’re vegan? Good. Own that shit, and be honest about it to everyone, including yourself. Don’t pretend to be eating meat, if it is just crushed almonds, textured and colored in a way, that is a vague approximation.

Wash your almond-slab down with some Soy-juice.

But, as always, there is a catch, this decision also stinks of antiscienceism:
Labmeat IS meat.

May not have been alive recently (at least in the traditional terms) but it IS meat. Fear of GMOs and science in general is stinking through this otherwise intelligent decision.

Still.

A win for common sense.

A victory against consumer fraud.

Take care,

A.

PS: in my country there had been a huge scandal a few years back about “analogue cheese”, everyone and their aunt were up in arms over this. Today, they sell the same shit as Vegan cheese. It is NOT cheese, be honest.

No fap

There is something I don’t get about this.

Why are you making this public??

Seriously?

Jacking off doesn’t take ANYTHING away from you. It doesn’t hamr you, or anyone else in your life. If your taste in porn is so disgusting that you feel ashamed, now that is another topic. If you’re into illegal shit, that is a REAL problem, but the overall majority of the airheads out there are doing NoFap for utter no reason.
Not fapping doesn’t give you superpowers, it doesn’t improve your stamina, or health. It is utter nonsense.

But! And this needs to be said, just like Veganism or Religion, if it makes you happy – good for you. BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

Holy fucking moses!
That these things need to be said!
How would you feel if I started to blog REGULARLY about being a ProFap-Carnivorian-Hardcoreatheist? If I came here every week and started to preach to you the benefit of waxing the surfboard at least twice a day, intermissioned with large amounts of meat and defying god in every religion on the planet?

Perhaps that’d get my view up? Controversy attracts people…hmmm….I gotta go, and rethink my blog.

Take care,
A.

Starch Sticks

About last week’s fake food sticks.

It IS starch with flavour added in.

Bwahahahaha
I hate it when I’m right…

Oh well, can’t be helped. You vegan lot with your “alternative food” that is.

Perhaps you wish to wash it down with this drink?

Stay healthy,
A.

Eat Real? 

Found this questionable item in my local supermarket.
That’s right.
Supermarket.

Not the insane asylum that is the organic market.

“Eat Real”
As opposed to surreal eating?
Unreal eating? Should I be eating houses now?
What the fuck are you dimwits all about?
Dipshits.

Kale, Tomato and Spinach all don’t come in any way shape or form close to this stuff.
Is it made with an insane amount of starch? Therefore tasting like styrofoam, with some hint of “vegetable” taste?
Had the producers dunked the shaped sticks in fat and fried it to death? If so, what’s wrong with crisps/chips? Potato was a vegetable last I checked.
So it’s vegan.
Dipshits.

Listen. You want a tomato snack?
Easy:
Eat. A fucking. Tomato.
Kale?
Same. Fucking. Procedure.
Spinach?
Surprise!

Tomato even comes in a dried variant, so you have the same dryness.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Can’t you eat like normal humans? You know.
Real!

I do not demand you to eat meat, don’t get me wrong, but this shit is surely NOT how ANY creature should be eating vegetables. In dried out styrofoam pellet form.
Stop making weird food pellets out of *something* and call it food.
Eat. Fucking. Food.
Full stop.

Stay healthy, eat REAL food.
A.

Lath eating

1. Open mouth
2. Stuff food in mouth
3. Chew. Preferably with mouth closed.
4. Swallow.
Repeat until sate (or no more food available)

See? Life ain’t that hard!

But that’s not the issue some (many) people have with eating. Life ain’t that easy?

☆What to eat?
It’s easy, really. Follow the standard food pyramid.
☆Should you go Vegan?
No.
Why? Because it is our omnivorous diet that allowed for the development of bigger brains in our ancestors. Unless you want a devolution in your descendants down the line, you should continue to eat meat.
Occasionally.
(BTW If you already are vegan, go for it. Own it. But do not make fake meat out of something. The processes involved in this, ruin all ‘value’ contained in your paste, add shit you couldn’t imagine and are surely as healthy as eating a pack of coal. Plus, you look like some cunt unable to follow a simple conviction: no meat or animal products!)
☆Superfoods?
There is no such thing as a superfood. If there were “Superfoods” on this lovely planet we call home, every asshole and their mother would be eating it since forever. No we wouldn’t need to ‘rediscover’ it, it would’ve never been suppressed! Healthy subjects are strong subjects, can fight in your army and pay taxes. It would’ve been in the interests of all churches, all monarchs and dictators, all governments and all peoples of the earth throughout history to consume “Superfoods”. They just don’t exist.
Deal with it.
☆Paleodiet!
No. Just, no. Whole grain is neat and all, but ruins teeth. You don’t want to be hungry and in pain, do you? By the way, unless you can show me wild mammoths to hunt, you ain’t doing paleo anything!
☆Some other diet then?
No. A diet (in the ‘lose weight’ sense) is starving your body of its reserves. Once you end it and go back to ‘normal’ eating habits, your body is in a regenerate-reserves mode, and will pack back on, in case the starving period starts again. That is natural. Change your diet (as in your eating habits), slightly, but permanently. AND EXERCISE!
☆Exercising isn’t bad!!
That is correct. If you do it right. Jogging on concrete sidewalks, for example, IS bad. For your joints and back. If the street next to which you run is a busy one, quit running, start smoking instead. About equally as healthy for you.
☆Moar workout!
Maybe. But as soon as you need to stop your exercising regime (due to sickness or injury for example), you will pack on, unless you restrict your calorie intake as well.

As with so many things, eating right is a question of moderation, not restriction. Consume vitamins in which ever way you prefer (there is no difference between those in pills and those in fruit, grow up), eat moderate amounts, and balance it. Do some exercise.

There. Still wasn’t that hard.
Take care,
A.

Mommy blogs!

Or joint parent blogs.

I have never indulged in the activity of reading these insipid, driveling wastes of insignificantly minute storage space on the net.
First off, I’m not the target audience – a mom, and secondly these blogs almost never have any value.

You’re not gaining some new insight on how to “parent”, that you didn’t get from being one, or having one. There is not enough substance to these vapid excuses of brain leakage, that would permit wasting time on reading them. Or just one.
Same goes for 99% of these so called “parenting magazines”, with articles so empty you are left to wonder why these sniffling shits aren’t writing speeches for politicians.
If it weren’t for product testing – including lab tests for hazardous materials – these magazines would be worth less than ink and paper, separately, used to make this glossy kindling.
I digress.

Mommy (b)logs are used by the mommy bloggers to make the simplest most mundane task look like a deed more heroic than the deeds of all Marvel and DC superheroes combined.
Mommy dearest breastfeeds her baby despite it being four and will continue to do so, until the kid enrolls in college. She carries the child in a sling, although her shoulders are bleeding, claiming “her indigo crystal child needs the intimacy, closeness and prolonged bonding,” although the brat is clearly old enough to fracking walk, or even go on prolonged hikes.
Great job.

Vegan, gluten-, lactose-, sugar-, and fat-free is an added “burden”, because it creates a (selfimposed) martyrdom to raise a child this way, with relatives and friends and doctors(!) telling them that it is absolute BS.

Adding to that, they hallow their “parenting” (and thus themselves) even more, if they are absolute nutjobs who think science and medicine are evil and thus they raise desease ridden, virii spreading little snotballs who run from vaccines and pills like they stole something.
But hey, they raise kids who are “all natural”. (Despite humans being omnivores, not herbivores, and our very existence outside of Africa is unnatural, but that’s not the issue here.)

That’s another staple of mommy bloggers.
The absolute glorification of the natural, and nature, ignoring the cold, logical, harsh and mindblowing truth that EVERYTHING is perfectly natural, unless some shit comes oozing into this universe through some rift in the space-time continuum.

But these narcissistic, ego driven, professional parents and breeders probably have lactated away all the brain cells necessary for rational and coherent thought, thats why all these blogs (or magazines) are shallow, pitifully dumb, meaningless drivel. People who read or write mommy blogs are people who have picture frames with the words “Friends”, “Family” and especially “Selfies” at home. For this is just another of the “Give me attention, because I am” cases, like the Selfie-people .

If you ever happen to strand on a Mommyblog, take it for what it is, snot. If you stare at the screen for too long thinking that a deeper meaning would peel out of this mindless conglomeration of letters and words, your eyes will roll back in your skull and they will find you, once your bills go unpaid, as a half rotten corpse in front of a computer that burned down in self pity.

Take care, and don’t read mommy blogs, they are an insult on the very words making them up (“mommy” and “blog”), as sell as an insult to anyone thinking.
A.

Don’t eat shoes!

I have had enough!
SIMPLY and plainly ENOUGH!

If you are a Vegan and you keep quiet about it – good for you. You have my blessing.
If you are a Vegan and you keep soving it in everybody’s face – I wan’t to beat you with a hammer. You are just as annoying as these religous nuts who can’t shut up about god.
Hammertime!

No matter what kind of Vegan you are, there are a few Bullshit lines you can cross.
1. Bullshit line: Meat supplement. If you made the CONSCIOUS choice of eating only vegetables, an othing that was produced from animal (labour), there simply isn’t any meat. No burgers, no sausages, no nothing.
So if you are longing for a burger, you have to make the conscious choice to deny yourself the burger, and not fake it with a Tofu Burger. That is “I want to, but I can’t” and you need to stop. Either your will is strong enough to pull it through, or it isn’t. IF it isn’t, kill you conscience and pig out.
2. Bullshit line: If you are offended by the fact that Vegan Restaurants aren’t allowed to educate official cook apprentices. It’s simple, a cook apprentice needs to be ABLE to cook meat. It’s that simple. Therefore a Vegan restaurant can’t legally have an apprentice. Period. (Don’t get me started on “But Muslim/Jewish Cooks/Butchers don’t have to touch pork”. That’s different. Sort of, if you ask me, they should be forced to. YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT THE PORK FRAKKERS! Just prepare my bacon, asshole!)
3. Bullshit line: This is the one that got me to write this post. DON’T EAT SHOES!
My wife stumbled upon an advert from Espirt: “Vegan Shoes” … I can’t even…what? YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM! What about Croq’s? They’re plastic, and therefore, VEGAN! Wanna know how oil (the base for plastic) came to be? Plankton, saturated with water, became entrapped and over time and pressure became oil. Plankton = plants! So – VEGAN! Still, don’t eat shoes. It doesn’t matter whether they have the “PETA-Vegan approved” sign or not. DO NOT EAT SHOES!

So, again, if you’re a Vegan – good for you. Stay strong and eat your produce. Steer clear of meat, and animal products, don’t fake out with tofu burgers and stuff, and DON’T EAT SHOES!

Take care,
A.