Posts tagged ‘Vienna’

Snow!

As an urban saltminer I rarely get to see snow these days (thanks global warming), which is good. Usually even the finest sheen of crystalline Dihydrogenmonoxide brings the city to a grinding halt.

No matter how far in advance the weather service tells us that it’ll snow, no-one is prepared. Not public transportation, not drivers, even the bicycle creeps.

No. Fraking. Body.

Which explains why Vienna always seems so peaceful and quiet when it snows. 😉

Take care,

A.

Eurovision Song Contest

So there’s this article in the news here (clipping at the bottom), telling us that they are planning to have sewer/manhole covers play the winning finalist songs of the past song contests so far.

Don’t get all nuts about this, it’s the same idiotspeople who condense roughly 900 years of history into 18 pages, so take everything they claim with a HUGE grain of salt.

If it was true however, that city council decided or planned to install this kind of entertainment in manhole covers throughout the city, my question is less a question of “why?” (since most people wear earphones or are too distracted to listen to the sewer noises) but a resounding “how?”.

Did they find a stack of old Walkmen (walkmans?) in an attaic in the council house? Are they now in the process of recording songs on tapes, and there will be workers in the sewers turning cassettes all day long and replacing batteries? “Riiiiiissse…..liiiiiiikeee….a”
Or have you “found” a truck load of iPhones and bluetooth loudspeakers, charging the songs on the councils iTunes bill? Who charges the phones? What happens when it rains?
Are they installing giant frak ass speakers in the seweage treatment plants blasting this shite into the sewage pipes? Will I now have to listen to this crap when I take a dump?
Is it “live” and a band is placed down there?

Besides the technology, and the exact “how”, it IS fitting to play this shitty music in the sewer, maybe it even drives out the rats…

At first I pondered whether they found this on a fake news site, but not even those pricks have that much imagination, this is the kind of whack idea that either was conjured up by a “journalist” on a slow, SLOW, SLOOOOOOW day, or that was actually discussed in the city council. (Which only shows you what kind of idiots we’re dealing with here)

It baffles me.
But, I must remind all of us, it is Oesterreich we’re talking about.

Here’s the clipping…oesterreich musik kanal

Mating like a bear…

today I’ll be brief.

In yesterdays newspaper there were two things that drew my attention. The cover was the Pandabears in Vienna mating. Sure they are chinese loans, and any offspring has to be returned to China, but I consider them ours.
Why? Because unlike the Chinese we have had two baby bears by these two. Pandabears in China have to be shown Pandaporn or artificially inseminated for them to have babies.
Ours do it.
Like rabbits.

That image on the frontpage of the newspaper however irked some people. Why? I don’t know. Male panda humping female Panda, no motion, just stills (like in any Muggle Newspaper ^-^) so I don’t get it.
We’re not conservative Republicans who shit their pants everytime something remotely sexual comes to the general attention. It could be a hug (from behind) 😉

What irked me however is the tiny article they wrote about the two mating, again. “Rare occurance in the Panda cage.”
Rare?RARE?

These two have a baby Panda every now and then! They made one, two years alter it got taken away to China, they made another, that one got shipped to China last year, so guess what these two are doing? CORRECT – another Babybear! They can’t be together while the Baby is here, so of course every spring they are allowed to be together, they mate.
They did it already twice before, so what on earth are these cretins calling “rare”?

For the Viennese Pandas it’d be rare if they don’t f*ck!!

Hope you are as amused about the newspaper cretins as I am.

Hail the Cook?

Never, ever, try on a Monday to find a restaurant in Groß Enzersdorf that is open.

Two were closed all together, one had closed a quarter an hour before we arrived, and the last one was an Italian “ristorante”…well, the table was sticky, the waitress was unfriendly, and the non-smokers section was so badly lit I suspect they didn’t want anyone sitting there. First thing they told us when we arrived “You can’t have anything but Pizza.” – we should have let that be a warning and leave.

Right there, right then.

Suffice it to say, we didn’t. Stupid us.

Let me put it that way: This Pizza gives me so much gas, the USA are investigating me for weapons of mass destruction!

It tasted like, well, nothing.
A simple Salami Pizza with extra garlic.
How difficult is it to get this thing to taste like SOMETHING!?

Apparently very: a hint of garlic where the patches of garlic where piled together, and between me and my wife, I was the lucky one: I had a small path of oregano strewn around in the centre of my pizza.
Except it didn’t taste as intense as I had hoped.
Or as intense as it should.

So if you’re ever in Austria, in Vienna, on a Monday and you think to yourself “I want to eat in that village just north of it, Groß Enzersdorf!” Don’t….

A.