Posts tagged ‘wash’

LATH Hand washing

Recently they exchanged the old soap dispenser in our office.

Instead of the sleek old one, where you pulled the lever to get some soap out, we now have one to push and it squirts out some foam.

So far, so shitty.

But. Apparently they think we’ve gotten so dumb from computer virus infections WE got, that we don’t know how to wash our hands anymore, or as if we haven’t been taught in preschool and/or by our (grand)parents.

No. We stupid keyboard monkeys need PICTOGRAMS to show us!

Listen, life really ain’t that hard: soap, hands, rub, rinse. Unless you’re a surgeon, then it’s more complicated, but for the rest of us, this’ll do.

If you have any defense for the pictogram soap dispenser, keep it in a dark orifice of your body.
Grown people, working at an office, shouldn’t need this.
People who are old enough to make financial decisions/transactions at a mall, shouldn’t need this.
No-one who is old enough to go to the restroom alone, should have need of this!

But in light of recent news stories, SJW issues, election results, and the overall state the western world is in, I guess these pictograms don’t penetrate far enough in our society…

Take care,
A.

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Life ain’t that hard, hygiene

It was a joke, okay?
It was meant as a joke, for frak’s sake!

But then again….what’s with the body odor in the subway at 6am? And the mold colored teeth?
Ah, frak it.
Here we go again, it’s really simple:

•Teeth, brush ’em. There’s an extra device for it, called a toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and scrub the little frakers thoroughly, at least once a day, or better yet, twice. Or three times!

Like George Carlin said, there are 4 key areas:
Armpits, Asshole, Crotch and Teeth. We already did the teeth, so we’ll substitute Teeth with Feet.

•Armpits, Asshole, Crotch and Feet – these four areas need a good washing at least on a daily basis to avoid any of the pesky stink we’re so often confronted with.

•The rest. This is not a free ticket to neglect the rest of your body. I wash it daily, but one should at least every other day.

•Hair. If it is shorter than shoulder length, every other day. Longer than that, every three to four days. If it reaches your ass – cut it.

•Shaving, my dear fellow men, is a necessity unless you want to look like a Hobo. That stubby three day beard of yours looks like crap smeared onto a plucked goose carcass. Ergo: SHAVE!

•Depending on your personal preferences,  shave your body parts as you please.

Now that you’re washed and kempt, get some clean clothes and…no. I already did that…go away…

As usual, take care, and don’t forget, for cases the next shower is a little bit away, there’s a thing called “Deodorant”.
A.

PS: If you’re sitting there wondering what to wash yourself with, it is called soap. Or showergel. You can take a bubble bath, or regular bath. Just cleanse yourselves.