Posts tagged ‘wood’

Put on some clothes!

I’ve be been hiking through the woods round my hometown with my kid lately. We’ve met a few people doing so.

First to mention is Pia, a girl a year younger than my son, whom he claims he loves. She’s blond, like the other girls he’s fallen for so far.

A couple of people with dogs, which reminded us both that we miss having a dog.

Most recently a pair of elderly ladies, who were really nice people, it saddens me that they’re elderly, because they’re so nice and that means in the not too distant future they’ll die, and make place for ASSHOLES.

Which brings me to the last group we encountered: assholes.

First off, the bicycle creeps.

Guys (and it is almost exclusively GUYS) riding their bikes at, what I can only describe as, terminal velocities, down WINDING HIKING paths, full of people, children, and dogs.

I hope they all have accidents that involve them falling in a way onto their wheels, crotch first, ridding the world of their genes.

Secondly, shirtless men.

These fuckers come, generally, in two flavours: chicken breasts, and bears.

No well defined Adonis, not a young Schwarzenegger. No.

Young dudes without muscles, or hair – sometimes badly plucked chickens, guys with some patchy hair – strut through the woods, dripping sweat like a pathetic miniature raincloud on legs, bearing an expression as if they, these human mole rats, were the new definition of manhood and manliness. Fucking incels.

The bear type is either fat, or hides a chicken breast beneath some fur, but is otherwise EXACTLY like the mole rat. Hideous and sweat dispensing.

You may not like to think of sweat, and much rather pretend that it waters the woods, but if it runs off of your body, it’s useless. If some clothing catches it, and it evaporates from there, that’s what cooles you down.

You may think you’re manly, but you are a disgustingly looking piece of shit – mole rat or bear – that reeks of desperation and, coincidentally, SWEAT.

Put on some fucking clothes you repulsive sack of body odour liquids.

I outlined to you a practical reason why – the disgusting, and unhygienic, sweat dispersal aside – its unpleasant.

YOU ARE UNPLEASANT.

To look at.

Your backpack is dripping wet, so you shifted the sweat problem from a piece of clothing to a piece of luggage, and you’re not an Adonis!

I’m not some prude who dislikes naked bodies, sense of place. Semi nudist in public, isn’t decent. It isn’t esthetic.

Stop it.

Go to the beach if you want a tan. Put on some fucking clothes when you want to hike. Or shop. Or eat.

Take care,

A.

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20. Dec. 2014

HarmonyThis decorative ornament called “Harmony” is a balance between the massive wooden ornament and the fragile, facetted acrylglass pendant below.
“Unwrap, hang, enjoy!”

Personally, this looks like a Question mark. If you want to be confuse for the rest of your life, spend the 6.99 for this gem and feel the heart warming harmony of utter, debilitating confusion.

There will be much rejoicing underneath this questionmark of harmony.

15. Dec. 2014

AnusHow can you tell those very special people in your life how you feel and think about them?

By gifting them the WOODEN ASSHOLE!!

Nothing says “I despise the very ground you cast your filthy shadow on!” quite like a wooden anus. The naturalesque orifice sadly does not cnojur up skat to drop on the floor, but still it’s the symbolism that counts.

Brio Railroad Tracks

This brings back memories of countless hours, days and even weeks spent on our carpet floor, building the track – bends, bridges, tunnels, parallel tracks, diverging ones, merging ones, etc., playing it and having the rough carpet leave an imprint on my knees even through thick cord trousers.

Clearly I can recall the puzzle piece like connectors of the track pieces themselves, and the wiggly plastic wheels of the trains.

I absolutely loved this a child, although it wasn’t the posh electric track I always wanted. In retrospect, the electric one wouldn’t have been as much fun.

Now, it IS made from wood, and that alone deserves bonus points – the smell and feeling of wood is priceless – plus, it’s eco friendly. Thanks to it being made of beech wood it had the durability to withstand damage from childsplay.

The track itself finely tuned my problem solving skills, and made me think of “work-arounds” (something we IT people love and loathe, equally). Playing with it taught me of gravity, friction and inertia, and mostly – magnetism. (The individual cars of the trains were connected via magnets.)

All that while connecting a train and letting it roll down a bridge you had built, just to watch some carts fly off or derail, while the rest of the train stalled off after a relatively short distance. Inertia, friction, gravity.

Or while pulling a train you discover at some point the magnets can’t hold together the lengthy train anymore.

I recall that the train tracks grew larger year by year, and soon my rather large room wasn’t big enough anymore. So it had to extend out into our living room, which made my mom very unhappy.
Unlike me she wasn’t blessed with long sleep, still isn’t.
So at least once a night she had to cross through my room and the living room until reaching the loo.
Huge fracking railroads were hindering her midnight loo endeavors, and already bridges had to be taken down during the night to allow her safe passage, but the living room should stay train free.

That didn’t stop me from building bigger and bigger tracks. more complicated ones though since they couldn’t leave my room.

I hope my son will like the railroad track, because I still have mine, and it’ll be a hell of a starter set, plus I’d get to play with it again, just like in the olden days…

Good play folks,
A.

PS:
This is a blog post, not an advertisment. I got informed that the Thomas the Tank Engine models fit the Brio ones, and the Toys’R’Us tracks and trains match too. I just grew up with Brio originals, and thusly can only talk about these. Back in my day there was no remote controlled engine either. Maybe we’ll one day get one of them. But in that case I want a camera fitted to the front, and film the whole trip 😀

So, autumn?

Yes, autumn. Apparently.

For some time now I struggle to make a decent post, but I fail miserably.

Being a dad is taking time off my hands in truck loads. And it’s worth every second. 🙂

Autumn finally arrived in mid/end August and didn’t want to leave again, making me ponder whether the seasons have actually shifted. Definitely I think.

The musky smell of fallen leaves, damp cool air and the shrooms in the nearby forest (upwind actually, not nearby per se, on foot I’d have to hike for the better part of an hour to reach it, ten minutes by bus), mosses and moldy soil – it all fills the air, replacing my so much more favored summery bouqet of lavender, roses and linden blossoms. But the scent of the chestnut wood and the smell of hay/mowed grass makes up for it, despite the nauseating feeling of autumn.
I dislike the fall. Temperatures fall, sun hours decrease in number, and clouds rise far more often than they disappear on the horizon.

Time goes by.

If any of you feel like posting a reply, did I already write about graffiti and tags in particular? If so, let me know please. Otherwise I bid you a fine day, and we’ll read again soon. (I hope)

A.