Posts tagged ‘xmas’

20. Dec 2016

In this day and age when every twat and their mother are afraid of second hand smoke, this is the perfect gift to piss people off.
Sure it is for incense, but do you people REALLY think that there are no carcinogens in that?
Well, you’re wrong, if you said no.

Return some love and well deserved slow death by cancer to your special people. Especially if they’re the militant anti-smoker type, but happen to like incense.

19. Dec 2016

Dishes for the OCD and cleanliness affine folks. This decor paint looks like dirt splashes, some left over sauce squirts – watch and enjoy as they take the dishes out of the washer and furiously scrub. Scrub until their hands have blisters or even bleed.

Thank you, Satan.

18. Dec 2016

The sentient tictacs return!
Traumatise your younger siblings – or the obnoxious offspring of your acquaintances – with the horrific Minions carpet.
Grinning “funny” yellow fec…err…faces beneath their feet. If there are ambitions to join the ensemble of stomp – here ya go!

17. Dec 2016

Luck-, Guardian-, and Valorangels.

If your guardian angel looks like this, you’re gonna need a crapton of luck, an amount this scrawny little bugger couldn’t carry (or channel).
If your valor is as strong as this angel, holy shit – give up. Your coat of arms shows people running.

Gift this trio spawned from the darkest recesses of some christian devotee’s shallow mind, to the person that could really use weakly angles propping them up about a millimetre above the ground.

16. Dec 2016

“Enough with the fucking baubles!” I can hear you scream (at least internally, as screaming at your screen/phone/etc. would be … questionable).

Oh, but wait my dear readers. These are photo baubles!

You can put pictures into them!

Anything you want, from mutilated corpses, dickpics, colonoscopy stills, up to (but not limited by) roadkill, pictures of the recipient(s) sleeping (stalker style, baby!), feces (public bathrooms – treasure trove!) and so on.
Let your imagination soar, and turn an innocent idea for baubles into a living nightmare on the tree…

15. Dec 2016

Teenagers and deranged people with even more deranged musical tastes might be pleased, the rest would never sleep again, rather staying awake until madness rules their world and they die of sleep depravation.

An excellent gift then!

14. Dec 2016

It’s a cover for a skiing helmet. Ideal gift for the wealthy family idiot, that way the marksmen know who to aim for.
Notice: do not look on for prolonged periods of time, can cause malignant eye tumors.